


its probably gay tbh

by caffeineklance



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: ADHD Lance, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anxious Hunk, Bi Matt, Chat Fic AU, College, Cuban Lance, Depressed Adam, Depressed Keith, Depressed Lance, F/F, F/M, Fluff and Humor, Gay Disaster Keith (Voltron), Gay Keith, Hunay, I just realized everyone is gay ong, I’ll add tags as I go, Korean Keith, M/M, Matt Holt has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Memes, Multi, Musical References, PTSD Shiro, Pan Allura, Pan Hunk, Panic Attacks, Separation Anxiety, Shiro (Voltron) Has PTSD - Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Texting, ace pidge, adashi, allura and matt will probably end up together, anxious keith, bc i really suck at writing, bi adam, bi lance, broganes, depressed shiro, dyslexic Lance, generalized anxiety allura, hopefully, idk - Freeform, its an actual wolf youll see, keiths wolf, klance, lesbian ezor and zethrid, nonbinary pidge, pan Shiro, pidge and science tbh, pidge falls on the autism spectrum, pidge has social anxiety, text fic, this whole thing is going to be a mess
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-07
Updated: 2019-08-07
Packaged: 2019-08-20 05:09:22
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 24,444
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16549529
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caffeineklance/pseuds/caffeineklance
Summary: emoknife: WHO THE FUCK LEFT AN ICECUBE ON THE FLOORleggylance: now keith, lets be calmemoknife: MY SOCK IS FUCKING WET ILL ASK ONE MORE TIMEtakashit: woopsiea chat fic au that im going to attempt. all the voltron gang is either in high school or college with the actual adults intervening on the side.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is literally because I think up so many story ideas, but cant finish them because I always end up thinking of memes. Plus I'm extremely lazy and hate my job so I need something to keep me motivated. (this is me just trying to stop laughing at memes at 3am)
> 
> CHAT NAMES AND CHARACTER THINGYS:
> 
> takashit: Shiro, 25, college senior  
> dadam: Adam, 24, college senior  
> scheMATTics: Matt, 24, college senior  
> Alluring: Allura, 23, college junior  
> emoknife: Keith, 19, hs senior  
> leggylance: Lance, 18, hs senior  
> hunkalicious: Hunk, 18, hs senior  
> shaydimentary: Shay, 17, hs junior  
> angrypidgeon: Pidge, 15, hs junior

**Pidge Gunderson created a group chat with Lance McClain, Keith Kogane, Takashi Shirogane, Hunk Garrett, Shay Balmera, Matt Holt, Adam White, and Allura Altea**

**Untitled ChatRoom (12:07 pm)**

**Pidge** : guys you will not believe what just fucking happened at school today oh my fuck

 **Keith** : Pidge no

 **Shiro** : language

 **Pidge** : fudge

 **Shiro** : thanks

 **Pidge:** Any fucking way..

 **Lance** : pls omg

 **Shiro** : *sigh*

 **Adam** : you really should have known

 **Matt** : why are you like this

 **Pidge** : ANYFUCKINGWAY

 **Pidge** : so lance and i are on our way to AP Bio and we see hunk talking to keith and there were some other kids nearby, so naturally we go over right?

 **Allura** : i was napping this better be worth it

 **Pidge** : so lance is fucking memeing next to me while we walk and as soon as we’re about to get their attention, keith FUCKING YEETS HIS AP CHEM BOOK

 **Shiro** : KEITH WHAT

 **Keith** : PIDGE NO

 **Lance** : PIDGE YES

 **Allura** : PIDGE YES

 **Matt** : PIDGE PLS

 **Hunk** : PIDGE WHY

 **Pidge** : HE THROWS HIS BOOK AT THE GROUP OF KIDS BY THE DOOR AND YELLS “MOVE IM GAY” TO WALK INSIDE THE CLASSROOM

 **Lance** : im stikl wheezing from this

 **Lance** : omg my tum

 **Keith** : pidge wtf

 **Pidge** : what keith?

 **Shiro** : keith

 **Keith** : that ^

 **Shiro** : why would you do that

 **Keith** : they were blocking my way to class

 **Hunk** :keith i was going to ask them to move

 **Keith** : and i didn’t

 **Shiro** :but keith

 **Keith** : but nothing.

 **Matt** : heh butt

 **Allura** : lance

 **Allura** : wait, Matt really?

 **Lance** : really allura? im saddened by your idea that i, serrano lance charles mcclain, would laugh at such an immature thing

 **Pidge** : *fart noise*

 **Lance** : pffffffff ≖‿≖

 **Allura** : i rest my case

 **Shiro** : keith, did you get in trouble

 **Keith** : no it was a bunch of freshies

 **Keith** : fucking babies

 **Hunk** : keith, you scared them

 **Keith** : its kill or be killed

 **Adam** : well im not even surprised tbh

 **Shiro** : keith they are CHILDREN

 **Keith** : okay but so is pidge but you don’t see them freaking out when i throw shit

 **Matt** : pidge is a gremlin

 **Matt** : not a human

 **Lance** : valid

 **Pidge** : fair

 **Hunk** : true

 **Allura** : no lie

 **Shiro** : keith…

 **Keith** : im sorry shiro

 **Adam** : okay but takashi you cant get too mad at him

 **Adam** : remember when you got mad at the freshman

 **Shiro** : not now adam

 **Allura** : right NOW ADAM

 **Lance** : SPILL

 **Shiro** : Adam no

 **Keith** : ADAM YES

 **Lance** : ADAM YES

 **Pidge** : ADAM YES

 **Matt** : ADAM YES

 **Hunk** : ADAM YES

 **Allura** : ADAM YES

 **Adam** : Shiro decided to sneak up behind all the freshman and drop his 10 lb weight of a hand on their shoulders and ask in the dadliest voice ‘is there a fucking problem’ and scare the fuck out of them

 **Hunk** : Oh shiro no

 **Keith** : And what do you have to say for yourself shiro

 **Shiro** : Fuck off

 **Lance** : *gasp*

 **Lance** : Dad said the f word

 **Pidge** : Dad no

 **Hunk** : Dad why

 **Keith** : The betrayal

 **Matt** : Daddy no

 **Adam** : Matt wtf

 **Adam** : Hes my man

 **Matt** : Oh sorry, go ahead

 **Adam** : Good

 **Adam** : Ahem

 **Adam** : DADDY NO

 **Pidge** : Im going to go ask keith to throw the book at me so I don’t ever have to witness this shit ever again what the actual fuck

 **Keith** : I need eye bleach

 **Pidge** : The good shit

 **Lance** : Ive got vanilla perfume, that shit hurts like a bitch in your eyes

 **Hunk** : …

 **Keith** : …

 **Keith** : Why do you have vanilla perfume

 **Lance** : Because keith, I want to smell nice and happy you got a problem with that?

 **Hunk** : What even is this group chat

 **Shay** : WHO ARE ALL YOU PEOPLE

 **Allura** : Well ive had my dose of wtf today, time for class. Shiro, you and matt meeting me by the tree?

 **Shiro** : Ye

 **Matt** : Yeth

 **Adam** : *sigh* ill see you guys soon

 **Shiro** : Keith youre still in trouble

 **Keith** : Youre not my real dad

 **Shiro** : Keith

 **Adam** : I don’t have a dad

 **Lance** : Adam wtf

 **Matt** : Dude

 **Shiro** : Babe..

 **Adam** : Oh im fine, just thought id thrwo that out there

 **Shiro** : Okay…. Anyway, ill be letting krolia know about this

 **Keith** : Shiro wtf why

 **Keith** : Shes gunna take my knife away!

 **Allura** : I thought she already did

 **Keith** : I mean my backup knife

 **Lance** : KeEITH

 **Pidge** : Man this is great

 **Allura** : Guys go to fucking class

 **Lance** : Already there, pidge and I are watching a documentary about penis fly traps

 **Hunk** : *venus

 **Lance** : I know what I wrote

 **Shay** : Omg im scarred for life

 **Hunk** : Now look what you did guys poor shay is scared of us now

 **Shay** : Oh im not scared, just mildly concerned

 **Matt** : Aren’t we all

 **Shiro** : CLASS

 **Shiro** : NOW

 **Hunk** : Bye dad

 **Shay** : Bye

 **Lance** : Adios bitches

 **Pidge** : Yeet

 **Keith** : …bye


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> name changes and a little panic

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> um okay so people actually read this and I just-  
> I wrote most of this at work but yay, a second chapter my dudes

**Untitled ChatRoom (3:56pm)**

**Lance McClain changed ‘Untitled ChatRoom’ to ‘probably gay’**

 

**Lance McClain changed their username to leggylance.**

 

**leggylance:** oh boy are you guys in for a treat

 

**leggylance changed Takashi Shirogane’s username to takashit**

**leggylance  changed Adam White’s username to dadam**

**leggylance  changed Matt Holt’s username to scheMATTics**

**leggylance  changed Pidge Holt’s username to angrypidgeon**

**leggylance changed Keith Kogane’s username to emoknife**

**leggylance changed Hunk Garrett’s username to hunkalicious**

**leggylance changed Shay Balmera’s username to shaydimentary**

**leggylance changed Allura Altea’s username to alluring**

 

**leggylance:** you’re welcome

**leggylance:** what can you say except you’re welcome

**hunkalicious:** lance

**hunkalicious:** why

**leggylance:** no hunk. it’s you’re welcome

**dadam:** Lance I don’t know how to feel about this name

**emoknife:** sigh

**takashit:** read your name adam, and then read mine

**dadam:** mines fine thx

**shaydimentary:** Lance is this

**shaydimentary:** LANCE YOU ROCK PUNNED MY NAME

**angrypidgeon:** im too impressed with shays and matts names to bad mad tbh

**scheMATTics:** i too am impressed with my name. lance i have upgraded your title as meme bro to best meme bro

**angrypidgeon:** matt wtf

**scheMATTics:** pidge you’re best meme sib

**angrypidgeon:** fair

**alluring:** I quite like my name. Thank you Lance.

**leggylance:** see! someone understands my craft

**leggylance:** the rest of you are ungrateful

**shaydimentary:** Oh I’m actually quite satisfied with my name so thank you. I’ve been trying to find a way to pun-ify my name since I decided to be a geologist.

**emoknife:** sigh

**leggylance:** what’s wrong mullet boy

**leggylance:** do you not like your name

**leggylance:** i thought very long and hard about your name

**scheMATTics:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

**takashit:** ignore matt, you good keith?

**emoknife:** fine

**emoknife:** just

**angrypidgeon:** cmon man i know you’re not mad about the name, i can see you on the side of the school building playing with your sweater

**alluring:** Keith, talk to us. I thought we were going to work on this?

**dadam:** is it because of this weekend

**emoknife:** mhm

**hunkalicious:** what’s this weekend

**takashit:** oh. Keith really you don’t have to go

**leggylance:** to you plebs who don’t know what going on, keithy boy is going to his moms this weekend

**shaydimentary:** studying, still listening/watching

**shaydimentary:** Lance what

**angrypidgeon:** how do you know this

**emoknife:** ^^

**leggylance:** I swiped his phone for a selfie bc he’s got a better camera.

**angrypidgeon:**?

**leggylance:** his mom texted so I gave the phone back

**hunkalicious:** good

**hunkalicious:** keith?

**emoknife:** i don’t hate going and i eventually like my stay, i just hate the tension y’know

**takashit:** if it helps, i won’t tell her about school and you can keep your knife

**emoknife:** it’s fine I have 4 others hidden on me rn

**leggylance:** i-

**alluring:** keith

**angrypidgeon:** k e i t h

**emoknife:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

**dadam:** takashi, we raised him well

**takashit:** to be fair, he never listened unless it was important

**takashit:** and he always took care of the knives

**takashit:** he’s safe and im a stressed dad

**scheMATTics:** keith, your mom loves you y’know

**emoknife:** mmm

**scheMATTics:** you can tell people you love them

**emoknife:** i know

**hunkalicious:** where’s lance

**leggylance:** waiting with keith continue

 

**hunkalicious > leggylance (4:28 pm)**

 

**hunkalicious:** how is he

**leggylance:** he’s not really talking

**leggylance:** doing the eye thing tho

**hunkalicious:** I’ll tell the dads

 

**it’s probably gay (4:30pm)**

 

**shaydimentary:** Keith you’re very important to us.

**alluring:** we know how difficult some things are but we’re all still here for you

 

**angrypidgeon added leggylance, hunkalicious, shaydimentary, scheMATTics, dadam, alluring, and takashit to PROTECT KEEF**

 

**takashit:** lance hunk told me what’s up how is he

**leggylance:** he put his phone down, he’s playing with my hand atm

**angrypidgeon:** did we push him?

**leggylance:** don’t think so. he’s still not talking but I can see him trying to control the excessive blinking

**dadam:** good, i just got out of class, im on my way. please keep him stable

**leggylance:** okay

**leggylance:** hey shiro, has he stopped the thing with the sweaters

**takashit:** no and pls don’t indulge him

**alluring:** he’s still chewing on them?

**takashit:** only when he’s like this

**leggylance:** okay but he looks like he’s about to cry

**angrypidgeon:** okay I’m coming over to help

**hunkalicious:** I’m home already but I’d go help too.

**leggylance:** thx big guy

**takashit:** update?

**angrypidgeon:** Lance is really trying here but Keith is seriously on the verge of tears

**takashit:** Lance, check his right sock pls

**takashit:** tell him what you’re doing

**leggylance:** got it

**scheMATTics:**  right sock..?

**alluring:** his multicolor knife that he loves

**shaydimentary:** okay but school grounds?

**angrypidgeon:** weve got him covered

**leggylance:** i gave him the knife. he’s flicking it open over and over so i think he’s okay

**leggylance:** just mumbled a ‘thanks shiro’

**dadam:** 2 minutes

**angrypidgeon:** okay, we’re gunna move to the front bench. see you soon.

**takashit:** tell him i have red waiting

**leggylance:** got it we’re putting the phones away now tho. bye

**scheMATTics:** (~◕ヮ◕)~

**hunkalicious:** see you soon

**alluring:** sending love

 

**emoknife >leggylance (5:13 pm)**

 

**emoknife:** I don’t mind the name

**leggylance:** c:

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a little self projection...maybe  
> anyway, I work a lot so maybe I’ll update once or twice a week? Idk
> 
> Follow me (the human embodiment of trash) if you want:  
> Insta: http://Instagram.com/caffeinated.wreck  
> Tumblr: http://caffeineklance.tumblr.com  
> Twitter: http://twitter.com/thatnouisgirl


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so theres krolia  
> and hunk saves the day  
> and pretty boys

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im over here, at 5 am, typing and eating tots and dino nugs with an iced coffee.  
> ( *butterfly meme* is this self care?)

**its probably gay (4:58 pm)**

 

 **emoknife:** so apparently the fucking freshie shitheads told the principle so thats a thing

 **leggylance:** little shits

 **takashit:** a whole day without the group chat...it was nice while it lasted

 **angrypidgeon:** what happened

 **emoknife:** they called my mom instead of my actual legal guardians bc they dont think shiros a good enough influence and based on my record, proably wont punish me

 **alluring:** oh no

 **dadam:** you’re fucking kidding me right?

 **leggylance:** *gasp*

 **scheMATTics:** aDAM

 **angrypidgeon** : ignoring the well placed meme,

 **hunkalicious:** can they even do that

 **shaydimentary:** okay but shiro and adam are your LEGAL guardians who you live with and who adopted and raised you

 **leggylance:** and youre telling me that sendicks dumbass called your mom instead?

 **scheMATTics:** pfffffff sendick

 **takashit:** but adams right, thats fucked up and i dont think krolia is even on the call sheet yet for emergencies or all that

 **takashit:** I’ll be calling the school

 **dadam:** It’s homophobic really

 **alluring:** how

 **dadam:** he offended me and we’re all homosexual

 **leggylance:** well whatd she say

 **angrypidgeon:** yeah which knife did she take

 **emoknife:** she didnt

 **takashit:** she what

 **emoknife:** she didnt take anything

 **leggylance:** are you with her now?

 **emoknife:** shes making dinner

 **hunkalicious:** whats for dinner?

 **emoknife:** oh hunk, youd love it

 **hunkalicious:** WHAT IS IT

 **emoknife:** boxed mac and cheese

 **hunkalicious:** …

 **shaydimentary:** ….

 **hunkalicious:** …..

 **leggylance:** so i just got back from the bathroom (hunk was at my place) and hunk just grabbed his keys and left

 **leggylance:** oh

 **angrypidgeon:** keith

 **leggylance:** omg

 **takashit:** um, keith? the knife

 **emoknife:** right

 **emoknife:** she ended up giving me my other one back and said ‘next time i better get a real call saying you threw this at them’ and patted me on the head and told me to do my hoomework

 **scheMATTics:** wow we stan

 **alluring:** we love a mom

 **takashit:** Krolia

 **dadam:** You now what? I cant even be mad about this

 **leggylance:** I find this fucking hilarious to be honest

 **shaydimentary:** same

 **emoknife:** oh

 **emoknife:** so hunk just arrived

 **emoknife:** he has a grocery bag

 **emoknife:** and now my mom is laughing and walking to the couch

 **angrypidgeon:** did hunk seriously just

 **shaydimentary:** yeah he did

 **scheMATTics:** he fucking-

 **emoknife:** HES MAKING SKILLET LASAGNA

 **emoknife:** GUYS

 **angrypidgeon:** wow ive never seen keith so happy

 **takashit:** its food guys

 **hunkalicious:** hunks food

 **angrypidgeon:** youre right

 **emoknife:** mom says you guys can come over to eat

 **hunkalicious:** this is keiths mom on hunks phone, if you guys would like to come over to have some actual dinner instead of what hunk calls a monstrosity of boxed food, you can

 **hunkalicious:** Is that his real name?

 **angrypidgeon:** ( . - . )

 **dadam:** whos all invited?

 **emoknife:** all

 **takashit:** keith

 **emoknife:** pls dont make her explain whos who

 **shaydimentary:** Hi Ms.Krolia, did you mean everyone?

 **hunkalicious:** Ah, manners, you must be the nice girl thats with the nice boy. Shay is it?

 **shaydimentary:** Yes ma’am.

 **hunkalicious:** Well youre invited and so is the small angry one, the pretty and loud one, the small ones big twin that i believe shiro knows, the dads, and the princess

 **scheMATTics:** keith i fucking love your mom

 **emoknife:** omg

 **angrypidgeon:** wait

 **dadam:** Is lance?

 **leggylance:** who am i?

 **takashit:** omg keith

 **hunkalicious:** I only know you guys based on what keith has told me. I forget names very easily.

 **leggylance:** Who’s the pretty, loud one?

 **emoknife:** MOM

 **emoknife:** STOP

 **hunkalicious:** keith ,whats the matter

 **emoknife:** ITS A TRAP MOM

 **emoknife:** GUYS JUST COME GET FOOD OH MY GOD.

 **angrypidgeon:** omg

 **dadam:** keith thats actually kind of sweet

 **hunkalicious:** hi hunk again and keith is currently a tomato rn

 **hunkalicious:** also , food will be ready in 15

 

**its probably gay  (8:45pm)**

 

 **angrypidgeon:** so we can all agree hunk is a culinary god

 **shaydimentary:** yes

 **takashit:** agreed

 **scheMATTics:** fact

 **alluring:** fact

 **dadam:** very much true yes

 **emoknife:** lance?

 **leggylance:** huh

 **angrypidgeon:** missing a moment to hype your best friend?

 **leggylance:** OH RIGHT

 **leggylance:** HUNK YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU AND YOUR FOOD YOURE A GOOD MAN AND A GREAT COOK

 **angrypidgeon:** what’s up with lance

 **scheMATTics:** ( ͡ᵔ ͜ʖ ͡ᵔ )

 **scheMATTics:** oh nothing

 **takashit:** I’ve been the dad of this group long enough to know that nothing is something

 **leggylance:** Aww, you finally admit you’re group daf

 **leggylance:** WAIT

 **scheMATTics:** DAF

 **hunkalicious:** daf

 **alluring:** daF

 **angrypidgeon:** daf

 **leggylance:** guys

 **alluring:** this is what you get for trying to deflect

 **leggylance:** oh cheese

 **hunkalicious:** so

 **leggylance:** fr guys it’s nothing

 **leggylance:** i mean, i have ap physics hw and the literacy essay to finish but that’s no issue

 **emoknife:** fucK

 **angrypidgeon:** SHIT

 **leggylance:** you forgot didn’t you

 **angrypidgeon:** yes

 **emoknife:** yes..

 **shaydimentary:** ill send you the answers

 **dadam:** shay

 **leggylance:** a hero

 **emoknife:** Shay is my true friend

 **shaydimentary:** Aw thanks Keith

 **angrypidgeon:** Keith I-

 **scheMATTics:** AHAHAHAHAHA

 **hunkalicious:** pidge got demoted

 **angrypidgeon:** Keith

 **angrypidgeon:** we’ve been friends since i escaped the womb

 **scheMATTics:** escAPED

 **leggylance:** PIDGE

 **emoknife:** sorry but you’ve betrayed my trust

 **emoknife:** shay is the real bro now

 **shaydimentary:** why thank you Keith but I’m sure pidge is very sorry for what they did

 **angrypidgeon:** *nods aggressively *

 **takashit:** whatd pidge do

 **hunkalicious:** told lance who the pretty one was

 **emoknife:**.

**leggylance: ..**

**hunkalicious:**...

 **leggylance:** we

 **emoknife:** ♪~ ᕕ(ᐛ)ᕗ

 **leggylance:** we were gunna leave that alone

 **leggylance:** so physics

 **emoknife:** shIT

 **angrypidgeon:** THATS WHY LANCE IS WUIET

 **leggylance:** wuiet

 **alluring:** Lance not now

 **alluring:** keith omg

 **emoknife:** night

 **leggylance:** also night

 **angrypidgeon:** these two omg

 **dadam:** keith actually went to bed

 **alluring:** i thought he was at krolias

 **dadam:** he was but came home with us because he forgot his homework and it was just easier for him to stay here

 **takashit:** wait

 **dadam:** no he didn’t

 **takashit:** his ‘why am I gay’’ playlist is on

 **hunkalicious:** lance is sending me snaps so he’s not in bed

 **leggylance:** FIRST

 **leggylance:** [sharpshooter-in-bed- image. jpg]

 **leggylance:** I AM IN BED

 **leggylance:** SECIND

 **leggylance:** DONT CALL ME OUT

 **leggylance:** TRES

 **leggylance:** GOODNIGHT

 **angrypidgeon:** fine i guess I could do my hw

 **shaydimentary:** Oh! Almost forgot!

 **shaydimentary:** [physics-hw-image. jpg]

 **emoknife:** thx

 **alluring:** wow remember when we DID our hw guys

 **scheMATTics:** remember when SHIRO did our hw bc we forgot

 **takashit:** GOOD

 **takashit:** NIGHT

 

**leggylance > emoknife  (10:18pm) **

 

 **leggylance:** so

 **emoknife:** can we talk about this later

 **leggylance:** yeah yeah no problem

 **emoknife:** thanks

 **leggylance:** but

 **emoknife:** what lance

 **leggylance:** i think you’re pretty too

 

**its probably gay  (10:22 pm)**

 

 **takashit:** so Keith is screaming and threw his phone

 **dadam:** ugh ill send kosmo in his room

 

**angrypidgeon changed ‘its probably gay’ to ‘its basically gay’**

**(1:37 am)**

 

**angrypidgeon added hunkalicious, shaydimentary, scheMATTics, dadam, alluring, and takashit to ‘theyre klance-ing again’**

**(1:40 am)**

 

 **alluring:** a week

 **takashit** : couple days

 **dadam** : ^

 **scheMATTics** : tomorrow/today

 **hunkalicious** : you guys are awful

 **hunkalicious** : but also two days

 **shaydimentary** : by lunch on Monday

 **angrypidgeon** : two weeks

 **angrypidgeon** : $10 good?

 **takashit** : yeah

 **dadam** : I’m down

 **hunkalicious** : sure

 **alluring** : *cackles menacingly*

 

**its basically gay (6:37am)**

 

 **takashit:** Keith

 **emoknife:** sleep wht

 **takashit:** did krolia forget you’re lactose

 **emoknife:** ha gbnmmmmnbb

 **takashit:** DID YOU FORGET

 **emoknife:** づ

  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i love me some quality gay  
> someone give me the uwus i know lance gives keith  
> pls, my pan heart cant be alone forever
> 
> Anyway, thanks for the kudos on this guys. Youre all very kind.  
> I have to work tonight at 10-6am so goodnight! Have a good one!
> 
> Also, the tots are gone c:


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> so lance does not have a daddy kink and likes keith’s bike

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, it’s been a while  
> Work sucks  
> Christmas is a thing  
> Wrapping presents is so worth it

**its basically gay (10:45 am)**

 

 **alluring** : GOOD MORNING

 **hunkalicious** : who

 **emoknife:** why

 **dadam** : what?

 **leggylance:** who are you

 **alluring** : ?

 **angrypidgeon:** allura it’s fucking 11 on a saturday wtf

 **takashit:** GOOD MORNING ALLURA

 **scheMATTics** : shiro w h a t

 **takashit:** i went on my morning run a little late and saw allura so we got coffee and talked about that persuasive essay that’s due soon

 **takashit:** and yes adam, im coming home with some for you

 **dadam** : this

 **dadam** : this man

 **dadam** : i love

 **emoknife:** shiro im a child in your care do i get coffee

 **takashit:** hmm

 **emoknife:** SHIRO

 **alluring:** yes Keith he got you some

 **leggylance:** oh you mean keiths death in a cup

 **emoknife:** excuse you

 **leggylance:** you’re excused

 **angrypidgeon:** i am just popping in to say keith you have a problem with coffee

 **emoknife:** as opposed to you?

 **hunkalicious** : agreed

 **emoknife:** hunk

 **hunkalicious** : sorry man.

 **scheMATTics** : im with keith on this

 **emoknife:** thanks matt

 **shaydimentary** : matt, i saw your order when we all hung out last month and even the cashier looked concerned

 **scheMATTics** : *impressed

 **alluring** : no dear, shay is right. concerned.

 **angrypidgeon:** Dear?

 **alluring** : Shut up

 **scheMATTics** : Alluras affectionate we know this

 **takashit:** Anyways, I’m home.

 **emoknife:** Woo!

 **takashit:** Aww, you’re happy to see your bro

 **emoknife:** *to drink my coffee

 **takashit:** I can drop it

 **emoknife:** OH SHIRO WHAT A GREAT SORTA SIBLING SLASH FATHER FIGURE YOU ARE

 **takashit:** ew pls stop

 **dadam** : i want my coffee

 **angrypidgeon:** hunk, while keith attacks shiro, did you come up with a prototype for the physics catapult?

 **hunkalicious** : yeah, I was gunna draw it up today

 **shaydimentary** : wait, we haven’t even gotten assigned partners for that

 **leggylance:** Yeah well, me hunk and pidge always team up

 **alluring** : isn’t keith in your class

 **angrypidgeon:** yes, but he always does the solo projects or teams up with romelle if he has to

 **emoknife:** i like my friends but i can’t work with them sorry guys

 **hunkalicious** : no it’s cool

 **shaydimentary** : i wish i was in that class

 **takashit:** why romelle

 **emoknife:** reminds me of allura tbh

 **emoknife:** and plus, she hates working with james

 **leggylance:** fair

 **takashit:** Keith has got his coffee and I have a scratch in my METAL ARM

 **emoknife:** get r e k t

 **leggylance:** KEITH IM SORRY WHAT

 **shaydimentary** : he had his knife didn’t he

 **takashit:** yes shay

 **dadam** : yes he did

 **dadam** : Shiro, do we take Red away

 **emoknife:** Don’t fuck with me

 **leggylance:** What’s red?

 **takashit:** Keith, they don’t know red?

 **emoknife:** No and they don’t get to know

 **angrypidgeon:** KEITH WE ARE BEST FRIENDS I KNOW EVERY SECRET

 **emoknife:** and?

 **angrypidgeon:** rat

 **angrypidgeon:** Watch it be a special knife or something

 **takashit:** or something

 **emoknife:** Knock it off

 **leggylance:** SO

 **leggylance:** guess who’s book rec got picked for AP Lit

 **hunkalicious** : Yours?

 **leggylance:** TGATS RIGHT

 **leggylance:** LANCEYS BOOK CHOICE WON

 **alluring** : what’d you pick?

 **leggylance:** Beloved by Toni Morrison

 **shaydimentary** : OOO GOOD ONE

 **scheMATTics** : One of the only ones I actually read. I like

 **angrypidgeon:** Matt, the only books you read were textbooks

 **scheMATTics** : AND Beloved

 **alluring** : Wow

 **leggylance:** Anyways, that means we’re getting a bunch of symbolism days and I’m fucking ready to sleep through all of them

 **alluring** : Lance

 **shaydimentary** : Omg

 **leggylance:** i’ve read this book 5 times. im good

 **emoknife:** Thank god I’m not in your Lit class

 **hunkalicious** : I am

 **leggylance:** But every AP Lit class has to read it

 **angrypidgeon:** Oh well, I’m in Accelerated English remember?

 **leggylance:** right, bc you’re still a child

 **angrypidgeon:** ill fucking knock out your kneecaps mcclain

 **leggylance:** wtf pidge

 **angrypidgeon:** but it’s also bc i prefer the sciences instead

 **emoknife:** nerd

 **angrypidgeon:** thx

 **takashit:** that reminds me, Coran is giving us another constellations project

 **scheMATTics** : YES

 **alluring** : I love those

 **scheMATTics** : CAN WE ALL FOUR BE A GROUP AGAIN BC ADAM YOU KNOW WE LOVE YOU BUT YOU KEEP TAKING GOOD GRADE SHIROGANE AND UM NOT FAIR

 **takashit:** im sorry, what shirogane

 **alluring** : matt

 **scheMATTics** : WELL ITS TRUE

 **shaydimentary** : is that where keith gets it from

 **takashit:** you guys group up with me for my grades?

 **dadam** : no baby!

 **angrypidgeon:** ew

 **emoknife:** pidge

 **angrypidgeon:** well

 **alluring** : shiro, no. we wanna be in a group with you because you’re our friend and we love you. we all have good grades anyway so it’s not like we’re using you

 **alluring** : matt just can’t word things correctly

 **scheMATTics** : ^^^^^

 **takashit:** I know. I know. I just didn’t know I was called good grade shirogane

 **scheMATTics** : You’re called a lot of other things if it helps

 **dadam** : MATT

 **scheMATTics** : Dude he deserves to know

 **takashit:** Like what

 **dadam** : Um, well the kiddos here call you Dad or Space Dad bc if you’re love of space and you being a dad

 **scheMATTics** : which is vvvv accurate

 **takashit:** still don’t understand that one

 **alluring** : Spicy Shiro is another one.

 **takashit:** Spicy?

 **dadam** : Because my man is hot.

 **scheMATTics** : Understandable

 **scheMATTics** : A couple people in class actually call you daddy

 **takashit:** Sick

 **dadam** : I know

 **leggylance:** In a weird way, I see it.

 **takashit:** um

 **alluring** : UM

 **dadam** : LANCE

 **scheMATTics** : BUDDY

 **angrypidgeon:** LANCE HAS A FUCKING DADDY KINK IM OUT

 **leggylance:** I SAID IN A WEIRD WAY I COULD SEE IT!I DO NOT HAVE A DADDY KINK

 **leggylance:** MOVING ON

 

**they’re klance-ing again (11:07 am)**

 

 **hunkalicious** : I’d like to retract my previous bet

 **angrypidgeon:** On what grounds

 **hunkalicious** : Friendship?

 **scheMATTics** : Hmmm

 **hunkalicious** : And homemade muffins

 **angrypidgeon:** Granted

 **hunkalicious** : I’m giving them a week and then another three days to actually tell us

 **alluring** : Fair.

 **angrypidgeon:** Bet reinstated

 **angrypidgeon:** But that also means matt is out of the running and the dads are close behind

 **dadam** : FUUUUUUCKKKKKKK

 

**its basically gay (11:15 am)**

 

 **leggylance:** So they’ve definitely got a secret group chat

 **emoknife:** Oh yeah

 **hunkalicious** : Um no

 **takashit:** We don’t

 **alluring** : There’s a secret group chat?

 **dadam:** Oh stop

 **angrypidgeon:** Right, we were talking about Lance’s supposed daddy kink

 **leggylance:** NO

 **leggylance:** YOU WERENT

 **leggylance:** BECAUSE I DONT HAVE ONE

 **shaydimentary** : guys he’s obviously got a praise kink what are you thinking

 **leggylance:** I-

 **hunkalicious** : Shay!

 **angrypidgeon:** Omgomgomgomgomgomg

 **takashit:** How would you even know that?

 **shaydimentary** : He blushes anytime someone says good job

 **emoknife:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **shaydimentary** : And remember that time he got that hard chem equation right and Matt told him he was great

 **leggylance:** So I’m leaving now

 **scheMATTics** : L A N C E

 **leggylance:** you have no solid proof so there

 **angrypidgeon:** Other than the fact you’re not denying it

 **leggylance:** Keith back me up here

 **emoknife:**. . .

 **emoknife:** Someone call him a good boy on Monday and record it pls

 **leggylance:** KEITH

 **alluring** : pls don’t

 **takashit:** Yeah, what allura said

 **scheMATTics** : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) *cackles*

 **angrypidgeon:** ANYGAY

 **hunkalicious** : projects

 **takashit:** Nice save

 **hunkalicious** : Thx

 **shaydimentary** : I think the partners are randomized. thats what heard from mr. antok

 **angrypidgeon:** Shit

 **takashit:** Pidge!

 **angrypidgeon:** LITERALLY EVERYONE CUSSES SHIRO

 **takashit:** but you’re so tiny

 **angrypidgeon:** AND FILLED WITH RAGE

 **scheMATTics** : well

 **angrypidgeon:** Okay well I’m sleeping bc I was woken up on a Saturday so night

 **shaydimentary** : Same

 **dadam** : same

 **takashit:** bye

 **scheMATTics** : LAZY KIDS WTF

 **alluring** : im going to work soon so see you in 4 hours

 **scheMATTics** : me too

 **emoknife:** I’ve got a 5 hour today so guess I’m not going back to bed (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ

 **leggylance:** Ew

 

**its basically gay (4:53 pm)**

 

 **emoknife:** Anyone up?

 **dadam** : maybe

 **takashit:** aren’t  you at work Keith?

 **emoknife:** yes

 **emoknife:** And?

 **angrypidgeon:** go on

 **emoknife:** can someone drive me to the er

 **takashit:** WHY

 **emoknife:** I think I broke my wrist

 **scheMATTics** : Ummm

 **emoknife:** NOT FROM THAT YOU GUYS ARE AWFUL

 **emoknife:** it’s from the heavy boxes at work

 **dadam** : Jesus Christ Keith I got you

 **emoknife:** thx Adam

 **dadam** : want some ice cream too

 **emoknife:** duh

 **dadam** : you got ice cream money

 **emoknife:** no but I’ve got blackmail

 **dadam** : Anyways

 **dadam** : be there in 10

 **shaydimentary** : what even is the group chat omg

 

**its basically gay (5:44 pm)**

 

 **emoknife:** um adam

 **dadam** : yes

 **alluring** : keith aren’t you with him

 **dadam** : no

 **angrypidgeon:** why

 **emoknife:** bc he sent him instead

 **emoknife:** [lance-failed-flirting-with-nurse-image-jpg]

 **angrypidgeon:** ahahahHAahhAHA

 **takashit:** whyd you send lance

 **dadam** : bc i realized i was warm and didn’t want to get up and lance had today off

 **angrypidgeon:** sureeee

 **alluring** : likely story

 **takashit:** adam he’s our kinda son wtf

 **dadam** : i was warm!

 **takashit:** keith do you want me to pick up your bike?

 **emoknife:** no we have it

 **angrypidgeon:**...how? you couldn’t have driven it with a messed up wrist

 **emoknife:** one, yes i could.

 **shaydimentary** : he probably could

 **emoknife:** and two, lance drove it

 **angrypidgeon:** lanCE WHAT

 **leggylance:** for what it’s worth, it’s so much fun

 **takashit:** helmets

 **emoknife:** yeah we both had them

 **shaydimentary** : ?¿?

 **emoknife:** Lance’s brother let his in lances car soo

 **takashit:** Y’know what, I’m not gunna worry just get lance back to his car and you both drive home

 **dadam** : safely pls

 **emoknife:** sure

 **takashit:** Keith

 **emoknife:** Adam promised ice cream

 **leggylance:** adam told me he’d pay me back for ice cream

 **angrypidgeon:** adam that’s cheating!

 **dadam** : I’m not doing anything. I was just chillin in bed and thought I’d have lance treat him to something so I could rest

 **scheMATTics** : mmm

 **takashit:** fine, get ice cream and come back

 **emoknife:** k dad

 **emoknife:** text mom for me

 **takashit:** yeah

 **dadam** : so your wrist?

 **emoknife:** right

 **emoknife:** not broken, just a bad sprain

 **leggylance:** they gave him a red brace

 **leggylance:** he looked like a happy child omg

 **leggylance:** wait here

 **leggylance:** [keith-smiling-with-brace-image-jpg]

 **emoknife:** lance what the hell

 **leggylance:** ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯

 **angrypidgeon:** well I’m gunna go work on rover 2.0

 **leggylance:** bye

 **hunkalicious:** cupcakes bye

 **alluring** : constellation project research

 **dadam** : allura you start too early

 **alluring** : matts with me too

 **scheMATTics** : hi bye

 **alluring** : he’s actually taking apart my computer more than research soo

 **takashit:** I’ll email Coran and tell him we’re all in a group

 **scheMATTics** : Sweet

 **leggylance:** keiths ready to go

 **emoknife:** we’ll be back later. bye

 

**leggylance > emoknife (6:27 pm)**

 

 **leggylance:** they so have a bet going to see if/when you date

 **emoknife:** how do you know

 **leggylance:** ‘adam that’s cheating’

 **emoknife:** fair enough

 **emoknife:** we should mess with them

 **leggylance:** or

 **emoknife:** or?

 **leggylance:** you want to?

 **emoknife:** to what?

 **emoknife:** lance you’re next to me

 **leggylance:** ughhhhh it’s hard to ask

 **emoknife:** do it

 **leggylance:** fine

 

**it’s basically gay (9:30 pm)**

 

 **emoknife** : I got up for some water

 **angrypidgeon** : Okay…

 **emoknife** : and I’ve got just 1 question

 **dadam** : yes?

 **emoknife** : WHO THE FUCK LEFT AN ICECUBE ON THE FLOOR

 **leggylance** : now keith, lets be calm

 **emoknife** : MY SOCK IS FUCKING WET ILL ASK ONE MORE TIME

 **takashit** : woopsie

 **emoknife** : shiro you better sleep with a bat

**  
  
  
**

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so season 8 is coming soon and im so not ready  
> have you guys seen the trailer?! oOF IM HERE FOR IT BUT I DONT WANT IT TO END


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> klancey things and pidge tattles on matt

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so...been a while

**leggylance > emoknife  ( 3:47 am)**

 

**leggylance:** hey Keith

**emoknife:** lance, it’s 4 am on a sunday 

**leggylance:** im finishing hw so i can sleep all day

**emoknife:** mm

**leggylance:** but

**emoknife:** but what lance

**leggylance:** well what do we do tomorrow 

**emoknife:** what do you mean? we have school?

**leggylance:** keith what did i tell you yesterday 

**emoknife:** okay and?

**leggylance:** and you responded how?

**emoknife:** i don’t see your point?

**leggylance:** GOD DAMN

**leggylance:** KEITH ARE WE GUNNA BE AFFECTIONATE BOYFRIENDS OR NOT

**emoknife:** oh

**leggylance:** yeah

**emoknife:** well

**emoknife:** i was just gunna roll with it

**leggylance:** what does that mean

**emoknife:** idk

**leggylance:** keith 

**leggylance:** i mean, we can just act normal if you want bc im perfectly fine with that and i know you don’t like hugs and really any kind of touching that much but idk i just wanna know what you’re fine with

**leggylance:** in public i mean

**emoknife:** oh

**leggylance:** you okay

**emoknife:** yeah just a lot

**leggylance:** sorry

**emoknife:** no. I just don’t know how to answer that

**leggylance:** i don’t know how i want you to answer

**emoknife:** I just

**emoknife:** i don’t like unwanted attention 

**leggylance:** understandable

**emoknife:** but i do like you

**leggylance:** shit

**leggylance:** keith 

**leggylance:** that’s cute

**leggylance:** and like

**leggylance:** really gay man

**emoknife:** shut up

**leggylance:** okay okay shutting up 

**emoknife:** idk, i guess we can just see what happens? we all have class together anyway so im always with you.

**leggylance:** true

**leggylance:** we’ll do things the keith way

**emoknife:** whats that

**leggylance:** “just see what happens and never do it again if we don’t like it”

**emoknife:** okay

**leggylance:** and no yelling at people if they stare at us

**emoknife:** can i glare

**leggylance:** sigh

**leggylance:** yes you can glare

**leggylance:** but only cause it’s cute

**emoknife:** no

**emoknife:** it’s scary

**leggylance:** scarily cute

**emoknife:** disagree 

**emoknife:** and now it’s sleep 

**emoknife:** so

**emoknife:** night lance 

**leggylance:** night keef <3

**emoknife:** ( - _ - )

**emoknife:** … <3

 

**it’s basically gay ( 1:26 pm)**

 

**angrypidgeon:** ah

**angrypidgeon:** time to get up

**hunkalicious:** pidge it’s

**hunkalicious:** it’s 2 pm

**angrypidgeon:** and?

**angrypidgeon:** i was up til 5

**hunkalicious:** doing what

**angrypidgeon:** things

**scheMATTics:** what things -concerned big bro

**angrypidgeon:** eating ramen and hacking the teachers class plan

**takashit:** why

**angrypidgeon:** bc

**angrypidgeon:** [project-partner-assignment-image-jpg]

**hunkalicious:** pidge we’re partners!

**angrypidgeon:** let’s gooooooo

**shaydimentary:** why am i on this i’m not in your class?

**angrypidgeon:** it’s every class

**shaydimentary:** oh

**shaydimentary:** well i’m with plax 

**shaydimentary:** that’s fine

**alluring** : pidge wtf

**angrypidgeon:** hi allura

**takashit:** you hacked you’re school system?

**hunkalicious:** they’ve done it before 

**scheMATTics:** um

**dadam:** how? 

**angrypidgeon:** my computer duh

**scheMATTics:** you know what i mean you little fuck

**angrypidgeon:** i’m telling mom

**scheMATTics:** i’m a grown ass adult i’m not scared of mom

**angrypidgeon:** one sec

**shaydimentary:** what are they doing

**scheMATTics:** pidge stOP

**angrypidgeon:** annnddddd done

**leggylance:** what’s going on

**hunkalicious:** oh hi lance

**scheMATTics:** pidge why is mom calling me

**angrypidgeon:** idk

**scheMATTics:** pidge

**angrypidgeon:** answer

**scheMATTics:** dad texted too

**angrypidgeon:** hahahahhAHAhaAHAAHa

**scheMATTics:** he said hide

**scheMATTics:** i’m gunna answer brb

**angrypidgeon:** rip matt

**leggylance:** keith and i are partners?

**emoknife:** why

**hunkalicious:** oh hi keith

**emoknife:** i don’t want a partner

**leggylance:** even me?

**emoknife:** shrug

**angrypidgeon:** did you just type out shrug

**emoknife:** semantics 

**angrypidgeon:** no...it’s really not

**hunkalicious:** keith did you sleep

**emoknife:** no

**emoknife:** my phone went off at 4 am and i’ve been up since, sleeping every 40 some minutes 

**dadam:** i’m making coffee

**emoknife:** adam is best

**takashit:** wow

**takashit:** tell me how you really feel

**emoknife:** refer to last message sent by keith kogane

**angrypidgeon:** fukiNG REJT

**scheMATTics:** pidge

**angrypidgeon:** oh you’re back

**scheMATTics:** What thE ACTUAL FUCK

**alluring** : hm

**hunkalicious:** what happened 

**scheMATTics:** YOU TOLD MOM TGAT I CONTAMINATED HER YEAST SAMPLES WHEN I WAS 14

**angrypidgeon:** possibly 

**scheMATTics:** PIDFE SHE YELLED FOR FUCKING EVER

**leggylance:** omG

**alluring:** I REMEMBER THAT

**takashit:** COLLEEN HOLT NEVER LOOKED SO SCARY

**scheMATTics:** SHE TOLD ME RO WATCJ OUT

**scheMATTics:** WHAT DOWS THAT MEAN

**angrypidgeon:** eh

**leggylance:** pidge you gremlin

**angrypidgeon:** i can fix this

**angrypidgeon:** ill tell her you were trying to help fuse the genetic code of two strains for a birthday present 

**scheMATTics:** price?

**angrypidgeon:** new binder??

**scheMATTics:** the green one? size small?

**angrypidgeon:** ye

**hunkalicious:** how did you know

**scheMATTics:** dONE

**angrypidgeon:** and convince dad to let me cut my hair?

**scheMATTics:** SOLD JUST FIX IT

**angrypidgeon:** calling mommy dearest brb

**shaydimentary:** so that happened 

**emoknife:** mm

**leggylance:** entertainment 

**dadam:** quality 

**hunkalicious:** true art

**takashit:** so i spilled chili on the couch

**dadam:** um

**leggylance:** shiro you good

**takashit:** oh, yeah

**takashit:** just thought i’d mention it

**scheMATTics:** arm issue

**dadam:** he won’t say it but yeah, it’s stiffening up

**scheMATTics:** ill adjust it tomorrow 

**takashit:** thx matt

**scheMATTics:** mhmm

**scheMATTics:** allura can I come over

**alluring** : why

**shaydimentary:** why??

**scheMATTics:** roommate is back and i like the tea you make 

**alluring** : yeah, my roommate is out. it’s fine. 

**scheMATTics:** sweet

**alluring** : bring cookies

**scheMATTics:** ugh

**leggylance:** I want cookies

**leggylance:** hunk?

**hunkalicious:** come over man

**leggylance:** nice

**leggylance:** we all need a man like hunk

**takashit:** debatable

**leggylance:** okay, all but the taken people need a man like hunk 

**angrypidgeon:** sure

**shaydimentary:** hunk

**hunkalicious:** hmm

**shaydimentary:** rax said if you bring him some cookies, you can stay later than 7 on monday for the calc review

**angrypidgeon:** shay, wtf

**shaydimentary:** mom and dad don’t care but rax likes to harass hunk til he politely leaves

**hunkalicious:** true

**shaydimentary:** but he also lets him come back bc he bakes us treats and always treats our house with respect 

**alluring** : classic hunk

**emoknife:** a good man

**leggylance:** THE MAN

**angrypidgeon:** a pUrE soul

**scheMATTics:** that’s fair

**hunkalicious:** ill bring some

**leggylance:** hunk im almost there

**hunkalicious:** doors open 

**leggylance:** can i also nap

**hunkalicious:** yes lance you can nap

**leggylance:** wooo

**emoknife:** i’m sleeping now

**emoknife:** bye

**scheMATTics:** keith you just got up 

**emoknife:** and now i’m laying down

**angrypidgeon:** crypids?

**emoknife:** ..no

**angrypidgeon:** liar

**emoknife:** fine

**emoknife:** doing wendigo research 

**hunkalicious:** oooo

**angrypidgeon:** good shit

**emoknife:** you know what’s really fucking creepy

**scheMATTics:** what

**emoknife:** the fae 

**hunkalicious:** fairies?

**dadam:** oh god

**takashit:** im out. i’m getting ready for work

**leggylance:** bye dad!

**dadam:** same, working a double

**angrypidgeon:** bye dad #2!

**takashit:** keith clean your room

**emoknife:** suck a bag of dicks

**leggylance:** K E I T H

**hunkalicious:** OMG

**angrypidgeon:** my oRanGE JUICE

**takashit:** why do I try

**leggylance:** anyway, the fae?

**emoknife:** like

**emoknife:** you can’t give your name

**emoknife:** you can’t thank them

**scheMATTics:** why

**emoknife:** they turn it around on you and ask for something in exchange so they can “thank” you

**leggylance:** ew

**emoknife:** you can’t make a deal or you fucked

**angrypidgeon:** better be bomb ass at negotiating 

**emoknife:** if you consent to something then they basically have your life

**emoknife:** they can change looks/voice and it’s creepy bc like, if you can’t look them in the eyes, they’re making it so you can’t bc then you can see who they really are 

**alluring** : i’m sorry but yikes

**shaydimentary:** reminds of lotor

**hunkalicious:** hoLY-

**angrypidgeon:** SHA Y

**emoknife:** fuck

**leggylance:** lotions a fucking fae

**alluring** : I-

**scheMATTics:** that lotor kid?

**leggylance:** yeah. the one allura dated

**shaydimentary:** w o w

**alluring** : don’t remind me

**emoknife:** brb, making a lotion conspiracy board

**angrypidgeon:** omg

**takashit:** an i’m logging out

**hunkalicious:** what did we do

**angrypidgeon:** i mean, it’s could’ve been mothman

**emoknife:** mothman is mY ONE TEUE LOVE AND HE CAN STEP ON ME WITH HIS WHOLE BEING

**scheMATTics:** uM

**leggylance:** wow

**hunkalicious:** so

**emoknife:** sorry

**emoknife:** got carried away

**shaydimentary:** yeah so

**leggylance:** hunk i’m here

**leggylance:** keith i’m concerned

**angrypidgeon:** subject change

**angrypidgeon:** matt, mom says she might forgive you

**scheMATTics:** thank fuck

**leggylance:** guys

**angrypidgeon:** ahem

**leggylance:** peeps

**angrypidgeon:** gross but better

**leggylance:** do you think you can negotiate with a demon?

**hunkalicious:** aaaaand that’s where we stop for the day

**scheMATTics:** i’ve had my share of cryptids 

**emoknife:** board time

**alluring** : don’t communicate with demons lance

**alluring** : and hurry matt 

**angrypidgeon:** anime time I guess

**leggylance:** keith ill text you about the project i guess

**emoknife:** k

**leggylance:** don’t “k” me! 

**emoknife:** don’t what?

**leggylance:** y’know, just respond with a “k” like you don’t care

**emoknife:** o k?

**leggylance:** ( ~ _ - )

 

**dadam > takashit ( 2:20 pm)**

 

**dadam:** what time do you get off work?

**takashit:** 8 why?

**dadam:** i’m out at 10...could you drop me off and be willing to wait for me after?

**takashit:** yeah that’s fine. keith are all my chips so I have to go to the store anyway 

**dadam:** ooo! can you grab creamer too? the cookie dough flavor 

**takashit:** you’re sweet tooth is going to kill you one day

**dadam:** then how come you haven’t killed me yet c;

**takashit:** you’re lucky you’re cute

**dadam:** we have five minutes til we leave, come to the living room and cuddle me

**takashit:** … fine 

 

**emoknife > leggylance ( 2:30 pm)**

 

**emoknife:** come over?

**leggylance:** huh

**emoknife:** come over.

**leggylance:** im at hunks

**emoknife:** after 

**leggylance:** why keith

**emoknife:** bc i’m alone til 10 and i don’t want to be

**leggylance:** ill finish these cookies and i’ll be there if…

**emoknife:** if..?

**leggylance:** if I can use bad pickup lines on you and hold your hand

**emoknife:** jesus christ lance you’re like a child

**leggylance:** so?

**emoknife:** yes

**leggylance:** YES!

 

**they’re klance-ing again (2:39 pm)**

 

**hunkalicious:** the bet is still going I presume 

**angrypidgeon:** of course 

**alluring** : i’m broke so I need to win

**angrypidgeon:** well the dads and matt are out so far

**shaydimentary:** THEY BETTER NOT LET ME DIWN TOMORROW 

**angrypidgeon:** shay 

**hunkalicious:** calm

**shaydimentary:** ur right

**shaydimentary:** but I play to win

 

**hunkalicious > shaydimentary (2:43 pm)**

 

**hunkalicious:** lance just left 

**hunkalicious:** half asleep with a bowl of cookies saying something about helping his mom and the color red

**shaydimentary:** oh im so winning this thing

**hunkalicious:** pidge will not be happy 

 

**it’s basically gay ( 5:15 pm)**

 

**dadam:** reminder for all of you to do your hw and get some sleep tonight

**emoknife:** gross

**leggylance:** keith be nice

**emoknife:** fine

**emoknife:** but only cause they feed me and not bc you told me too

**takashit:** thx lance 

**hunkalicious:** thx for the advice but I think for once everyone has their hw done

**dadam:** shiro we raised them all so well

**takashit:** i’m not claiming any of them except keith now go back to work babe

**angrypidgeon:** gross. love

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> LISTEN  
> I HAD A BAD COUPKE WEEKS AND WIRK WASNT HELPIBG   
> AND SEASON 8 DEFINITELY DIDNT HELP  
> BUT OMG  
> IM BSCK NOW  
> STILL CRYING OVER VOLTRON BREAKING MY HEART 💔  
> Also, the cryptid talk is an actual conversation my friends and I had on our way home at night. so I was terrified the whole time I was home bc I was thinking of demons and yeah, not fun  
> But hopefully you enjoy I guess?   
> yeah, that  
> ____________________________
> 
> insta: caffeinated.wreck (trash/fandom)  
> winniebirdy_17 (personal)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> it’s a monday for them
> 
> shay likes winning  
> keith throws things  
> lance finds out who red is  
> and zarkons a bitch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah  
> i know  
> been a bit  
> i’m lazy okay? but just letting you know there will be season 8 spoilers in the bottom notes and from here on out in the story  
> I started this a little before it came out and i’m not changing things now sorry
> 
> 11 pgs of text chat to make up for my laziness 
> 
> in other news, i’ve got all the voltron pop figures and my mom got me the actual voltron one and a voltron blanket for xmas.
> 
> .....I also got a shiny switchblade and i’m in love

**they’re klance-ing again ( 7: 15 am)**

 

**angrypidgeon:** so whos still in this dumb bet

**angrypidgeon:** because

**hunkalicious:** i sm

**shaydimentary:** i play to win

**alluring:** me

**angrypidgeon:** im still here

**scheMATTics:** great

**shaydimentary:** cant wait to be $60 richer

**alluring:** hunk your girlfriend scares me

**hunkalicious:** shes wonderful what do you mean

**angrypidgeon:** allura you were also scared of me when we first met

**alluring:** because you came out of matts room with a bloody nose and bruised knuckles while holding stripped tv and computer cables and told matt not to fucking mess with you

**hunkalicious:** we love our little gremlin

**takashit:** matt what did you even do to them

**scheMATTics:** nothing

**angrypidgeon:** bullshit!

**angrypidgeon:** he threw away a project i was working on

**scheMATTics:** you were 8!

**angrypidgeon:** old enough to know you were a bitch

**alluring:** what was the project

**scheMATTics:** it was called Katies Time Distorter and i think they took apart moms clock and took dads mini fridge and microwave and tried to well, distort time

**takashit:** pidge you were 8

**angrypidgeon:** and i wanted to see what i could do

**dadam:** and you scared 16 year old allura in the process

**angrypidgeon:** t r a g i c

**hunkalicious:** anyways

**shaydimentary:** we have to get ready for school

**takashit:** wait

**alluring:** yeah shiro

**takashit:** why was pidge bloody when they left matts room

**alluring:** i may have forgot to mention when i walked in there, there was a tipped tv and matt was in the corner shaking

**dadam:** yeah nevermind, im scared of pidge now

**angrypidgeon:** dont worry, ive matured

**scheMATTics:** You hang out with keith way too much bc he says that too

**angrypidgeon:** and?

**takashit:** he hasnt matured at all

**angrypidgeon:** yes he has, he taught me how to properly throw a knife in exchange for learning how to tap into cell phones on the same wifi

**hunkalicious:** well, im petrified

**alluring:** have a nice day at school

**scheMATTics:** xD

 

**it’s basically gay ( 7:35 am)**

 

**emoknife:** so i know you all have secret group chats

**emoknife:** or at least one that im not in

**emoknife:** so im not really mad

**angrypidgeon:** okay…. ?

**emoknife:** i just want to know what the actual fuck you told shiro and adam for them to change the wifi password and take their phones everywhere they go

**scheMATTics:** dont they always

**alluring:** no

**emoknife:** adam forgets his in a daily basis and shiro only really texts when he needs too

**angrypidgeon:** oh i told them about our deal we made when you were going to high school.

**angrypidgeon:** remember the knives in exchange for the phone tap

**emoknife:** ohhhhh

**emoknife:** GUYS I WASNT PLANNING TO USE IT ON YOU AND ITS BEEN 4 YEARS WHAT THE HELL

**leggylance:** keith, you can hack ohones

**leggylance:** *phones

**emoknife:** yeah

**shaydimentary:** hmm

**scheMATTics:** interesting

**emoknife:** anyway, were on our way to mcdonalds before school

**hunkalicious:** we?

**alluring:** adam and shiro have work this morning right?

**dadam:** yeah

**alluring:** do i tell the professors the same for your morning class

**scheMATTics:** and same for the afternoon?

**dadam:** thatd be great thx allura

**emoknife:** Shiro says theyll be back by their 1 oclock class so pls dont let matt use an excise for us

**scheMATTics:** one time shiro

**dadam:** Um no matt, it was 5 times

**dadam:** and each time you said shiro or i had explosive diarrhea or that we got stuck in a ballpit or something weird like that

**scheMATTics:** bc its funny!

**leggylance:** nice

**emoknife:** But thx for the offer matt -shiro

**emoknife:** but back to mcd?

**shaydimentary:** may i just have an iced coffee pls

**emoknife:** vanilla?

**shaydimentary:** yes

**emoknife:** of course shay

**hunkalicious:** um a bacon egg and cheese muffin with a hasbrown pls

**emoknife:** yup, pidge?

**angrypidgeon:** just a large caramel iced coffee

**emoknife:** lance?

**leggylance:** 4 hashbrowns, egg mcmuffin w/ no ham, and a small caramel frappe

**alluring:** christ lance

**leggylance:** he asked, i answered

**dadam:** Its cool, shiro says hes got you all covered

**angrypidgeon:** shiro, a true hero

**leggylance:** shiro, you are the water to my crops, the wind beneath my wings

**dadam:** he says hes happy to hear that but hes taken

**leggylance:** fine

**leggylance:** see if i ever compliment that beautful physique of his ever again

**alluring:** uh

**scheMATTics:** you just did

**leggylance:** and now i never will again

**scheMATTics:** yeah, soooo

**hunkalicious:** why does school start at 8:15 wtf

**leggylance:** why is my frirst class on the third floor

**alluring:** lance, what class is it

**leggylance:** Spanish 5

**angrypidgeon:** lance, youre fucking cuban

**leggylance:** your point?

**hunkalicious:** you already know spanish

**leggylance:** easy A

**emoknife:** i wish they taught korean

**leggylance:** keith youre already one of the top 4

**takashit:** besides, you tested out of spanish 1 ad 2 so you dont need the language classes.

**scheMATTics:** howd he test out? keith knows spanish?

**angrypidgeon:** weve been friends with lance since third grade

**angrypidgeon:** obvi he taught us spanish to talk shit

**leggylance:** ah, the praise of the bilingual bisexual beauty

**alluring:** praise kink

**shaydimentary:** called it

**leggylance:** WE ARE NOT DOING THIS AGAIN

**emoknife:** can we make fun of lance when i get there, give us 5 minutes

**angrypidgeon:** got it

**hunkalicious:** pretty boy is at his locker and im with him so we’ll just chill here

**emoknife:** shiro asked if you can teach him spanish lance

**leggylance:** why

**dadam** he wants to cuss out our boss bc hes a racist shit so if he does it in spanish itll really piss him off but he cant fire him bc he doesnt know what hes saying and is too much of an ass to look it up

**emoknife:** fair

**leggylance:** yeah ill help you out shiro

**dadam:** Rad -shiro

**leggylance:** shiro, our rad dad

**emoknife:** brb going to jump out the car

**angrypidgeon:** keiTH NO

**dadam:** SHIT GUYS

**dadam:** KEITH

**dadam:** he fucking tried it

**emoknife:** we were pulling into the lot

**hunkalicious:** sTILL

**takashit:** Shiro here, keith has given me a heart attack

**alluring:** Geting old i see

**takashit:** you shut your mouth allura

**alluring:** shiro i could dropkick your ass into next week

**scheMATTics:** hot

**angrypidgeon:** MATT

**scheMATTics:** WELL IT IS

**alluring:** WAIT MATT, DID YOU TELL THEM

**scheMATTics:** SHIT NO

**scheMATTics:** I WAS GUNNA WAIT TILL YOU TOLD YOUR COUSIN BC THEN THEY WOULDNT BLAB TO HER

**angrypidgeon:** tell us what

**emoknife:** my hanfs fulk ill resd late

**alluring:** ROMELLE WONT CARE OMG

**hunkalicious:** guys...

**scheMATTics:** oh

**scheMATTics:** right

**scheMATTics:** allura and i are together

**emoknife:** tf

**angrypidgeon:** why

**scheMATTics:** bc shes a very sweet person and she can kick my ass

**scheMATTics:** plus, shes beautiful as ever so how could i not

**leggylance:** valid

**emoknife:** lance!

**leggylance:** well

**hunkalicious:** Thats actually really sweet

**angrypidgeon:** just dont fuck on the couch, i sit there

**alluring:** noted

**angrypidgeon:** so we have Hunay, Adashi, ummmmm Alluratt? and Klance and a small pidge

**emoknife:** Um what

**leggylance:** w H a t

**leggylance:** pidge stfu

**scheMATTics:** i think you mean fucking gremlin

**leggylance:** regardless of pidges nonsense, i think you guys are very cute

**alluring:** thx

**emoknife:** well everyone has their food and over caffeinated drinks so off to class

**dadam:** keith stfu you put 11 sugar packets in your iced coffee

**emoknife:** shut up adam

**dadam:** and 5 cream cup things -shiro

**leggylance:** shit keith

**emoknife:** going to Calc bye

**leggylance:** hes gunna be dead by 12 omg

 

**they’re klance-ing again ( 8:32 am)**

 

**angrypidgeon:** really quick

**hunkalicious:** yeah

**angrypidgeon:** they were deflecting right

**dadam:** oh definitely

**scheMATTics:** oooooooo

**alluring:** how long are they gunna hide it

**hunkalicious:** jeez idk

**shaydimentary:** well it better not be long bc i need to win

**alluring:** Get to class guys omg

**angrypidgeon:** bye dad!

 

**it’s basically gay (11:48 pm)**

 

**angrypidgeon:** [keith-throwing-pencil-at-whiteboard-and-stabbing-through-it-vid.-jpg]

**angrypidgeon:** [lance-laughing-and-falling-out-of-chair-jpg]

**takashit:** keith lance wtf

**scheMATTics:** this fucking school

**alluring:** um

**hunkalicious:** lance didnt know the answer bc the handwriting is shit so zarkon got all upin his face and demanding to know why and keith said hed answer and zarkon ignored him

**leggylance:** well then i told zarkon that keith ovbiously knew the answer and he walked away

**emoknife:** and lotion said something like ‘fucking bitch’ to his dad and omg zarkon turned around so quick and told lance to shut his mexican ass up

**angrypidgeon:** Half the class was like, lance is cuban and i said he was dyslexic

**dadam:** Oh no

**hunkalicious:** oh yes

**leggylance:** zarkon said something about me and keith got pissed bc like he can relate with being korean and people fucking that up and he fucking yell ‘hes cuban you damn mcbitch’ and threw the pencil

**leggylance:** ive been dying ever since omg

**alluring:** lotor had your back

**leggylance:** i mean, he is a decent guy. hes just had the wrong upbringing and doesnt know what exactly seems to be wrong and right

**alluring:** ^^^

**alluring:** why we ended it tbh

**leggylance:** but yeah, we all got sent to the office and pidge had video evidence so they let us all go and zarkon is about to get his ass fired.

**dadam:** finally, i hated him so much

**angrypidgeon:** we all did tbh

**hunkalicious:** well what an eventful day

**leggylance:** ikr

**angrypidgeon:** We have lunch and then physics next at least

**hunkalicious:** youre right. shay how was class

**shaydimentary:** its fine. we got our partners and spent the whole time making blueprints

**emoknife:** easy shit

**takashit:** well as long as youre all okay

**angrypidgeon:** we’re fine shiro

**alluring:** lance?

**leggylance:** im good. i know people like zarkon exist and

**leggylance:** i shouldnt have to get used to it but i am. i know who i am and im happy.

**takashit:** good

**dadam:** well get back to class guys

**leggylance:** gotchu dad

**takashit:** (~◕ヮ◕)~

 

**leggylance >emoknife (12: 37 pm)**

 

**leggylance:** hey, thx

**emoknife:** youre welcome but you know i wouldve done that regardless

**leggylance:** i know

**leggylance:** Youre sweet like that

**emoknife:** lanccccceeeee

**leggylance:** plsss, youre so cute rn tho

**leggylance:** and youre very sweet and kind and such a softie and im happy youre with me and that youd stand up for me

**emoknife:** screw you

**emoknife:** but i know you would do the same

**emoknife:** And youre all those nice things too

**leggylance:** thx keef

**emoknife:** i take it back

**leggylance:** nooooo

**emoknife:** yes.

**leggylance:** rood

**emoknife:** its what im best known for

**leggylance:** youre known for your knives and your gay whatchu mean

**emoknife:**. . .

**emoknife:** shit

**leggylance:** ahhaahahahahhahahaha

**emoknife:** hush or i wont hold your hand

**leggylance:** hushing

**emoknife:** cute

**leggylance:** unhushing to say that hell yeah im fucking adorable

**emoknife:** Im moving to sit with rolo today

**leggylance:** yeet! Keith noooo, ill hush

**emoknife:** good boy

**leggylance:** KEITH

**leggylance:** OMG YOU-

**emoknife:** c;

**leggylance:** now my choco milk is spilled

**emoknife:** You can have mine

**leggylance:** a true sweetheart

 

**they’re klance-ing again (12:52 pm)**

 

**angrypidgeon:** [lance-and-keith-holding-hands-under-the-table-and-being-blushing-disasters-jpg]

**shaydimentary:** pay up guys

**hunkalicious:** shay what are you even going to do with $60

**shaydimentary:** dunno yet but i won it so lets gooooo

**dadam:** im never betting with you children ever again

**takashit:** hush adam, were all sad we lost

 

**it’s basically gay (3:15 pm)**

 

**emoknife:** anyone wanna explain why shay just walked up to the car and shiro and adam gave her $20

**leggylance:** i know they had a bet

**alluring:** we did

**leggylance:** who won

**hunkalicious:** shay

**emoknife:** out of who

**angrypidgeon:** all of us

**leggylance:** what was the bet

**emoknife:** lance you guessed it like 2 days ago

**alluring:** YALL KNEW

**emoknife:** duh

**emoknife:** surprised shay won

**hunkalicious:** she guessed you two would be together by lunch today

**leggylance:** oh, well then she lost.

**shaydimentary:** N O

**angrypidgeon:** y e s

**leggylance:** it was saturday

**emoknife:** at the hospital

**alluring:** REALLY

**scheMATTics:** PAY TF UP BITCHES

**angrypidgeon:** NO FYCKING WAY MATT WON

**scheMATTics:** I SAID ‘TODAY/TOMORROW’ ON FUCKING FRIDAY

**scheMATTics:** I WANT MY $60

**shaydimentary:** matt you’re dead to me

**scheMATTics:** shayyyyyyy lets go!

**shaydimentary:** i’ll give the money to pidge

**scheMATTics:** WOO

**scheMATTics:** I WIN

**leggylance:** you guys are awful

**emoknife:** lance come over

**leggylance:** alright, after dinner

**emoknife:** thx

**leggylance:** <3

**angrypidgeon:** gross

**leggylance:** hush, he’s pretty. i can’t ignore him

**angrypidgeon:** brb throwing up

**hunkalicious:** i think it’s sweet

**alluring:** of course you do hunk

 

**it’s basically gay (6:36 pm)**

 

**leggylance:** GUYs

**emoknife:** NO

**leggylance:** OMG ASSEMBLE

**angrypidgeon:** WGat lance

**leggylance:** I know who red is

**emoknife:** LANCE

**leggylance:** keith they’re not gunna laugh

**angrypidgeon:** yes we will

**shaydimentary:** PIDGE

**angrypidgeon:** i’m kidding

**hunkalicious:** who’s red

**leggylance:** keith plsss

**emoknife:** i’m not hugging you

**leggylance:** you don’t anyways

**emoknife:** i won’t tell you you’re pretty

**leggylance:** yes you will

**hunkalicious:** um

**alluring:** you good?

**emoknife:** FINE

**leggylance:** OK OJAY RED IS

**leggylance:** *drumroll*

**angrypidgeon:** lance hurry up, i’m doing hw

**leggylance:** RED IS A STUFFED PLUSHIE HIPPO

**alluring:** oh keith

**hunkalicious:** that’s adorable

**emoknife:** ITS NOT

**leggylance:** it really is babe

**hunkalicious:** awwww

**angrypidgeon:** not gunna lie, that did melt a bit of my blood pumping organ

**emoknife:** wtf pidge

**dadam:** keith, it’s cute

**takashit:** end of

**leggylance:** y’know what else is cute

**angrypidgeon:** if you say keith i swear-

**leggylance:** [kosmo-sitting-on-shiros-lap]

**leggylance:** this good boi right here

**takashit:** thx

**leggylance:** shiro wtf not you

**leggylance:** well, yes you

**leggylance:** but i mean kosmo

**hunkalicious:** shiro how tf do you have a whole ass wolf on your lap

**shaydimentary:** kosmos a dog hunk

**hunkalicious:** no

**leggylance:** he’s a wolf

**shaydimentary:** w h a t

**alluring:** like..

**angrypidgeon:** yeah like an actual wolf

**takashit:** keith brought him home one day and gave him a bed and the rest of my pork chops in the fridge and now we have a wolf

**hunkalicious:** y’know, sometimes my friends concern me, but then i ignore it and remember that they aren’t dead yet somehow

**angrypidgeon:** that’s a good way to think

**scheMATTics:** well i’m going to bed bc i have hw to do at 4 am

**hunkalicious:** orrrr

**scheMATTics:** no I do my hw in the morning so I can go to school straight after

**leggylance:** shiro can I stay over

**takashit:** yeah

**dadam:** but you sleep on the couch

**emoknife:** ADAM

**takashit:** don’t argue keith

**leggylance:** that’s fine thx

**hunkalicious:** well, it’s dinner time sooooo

**hunkalicious:** bye

**takashit:** do your hw

**alluring:** and face masks are important

**leggylance:** ditto allura

**dadam:** and try and sleep

**angrypidgeon:** fite

**hunkalicious:** pidge you need sleep

**angrypidgeon:** y

**leggylance:** bc earlier this year you were so sleep deprived you stood up in class and said i’m sitting there, barbecue sauce on my titties

**leggylance:** and then thrrew a book at someone bc he said he didn’t know you had titties

**hunkalicious:** what a good day that was

**dadam:** O M G CHILDREN SLEEP

**angrypidgeon:** *vine kid voice* yoURE NOT MY DAD

**takashit:** how do you function

**emoknife:** we don’t

**angrypidgeon:** ^

**leggylance:** ^

**hunkalicious:** ^

**shaydimentary:** ^

**alluring:** sigh

 

**krayola >emoknife (9:38 pm)**

 

**krayola:** so i heard you’re dating the loud one

**emoknife:** tf mom

**krayola:** now keith

**emoknife:** ugh

**emoknife:** yes

**krayola:** good, i would like to properly talk to him

**emoknife:** sure

**krayola:** thanks sweetie

**emoknife:** mm

 

**it’s basically gay ( 9:40 pm)**

  
**emoknife:** shiro you’re dead to me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so, SPOILERS  
> I know adam is well, dead and shiro is with a guy named curtis and while i’d like to stick to canon for that, i’m too far in for me to change shit like that. I also don’t know matts SO’s name or if they’re even a thing so i’m gunna go ahead and throw him and allura together bc it’s cute and wholesome  
> he’d treat her right 👌🏽  
> but yeah, i’m usually half dead when I write these sooooo enjoy!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> new namesssssss
> 
> corn joins the chat  
> there’s some vine refffsss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m lazy I know  
> but y’know what
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> I can’t really defend myself tbh  
> I did make a schedule of theirs classes tho so I guess that’s a thing
> 
> tell me if you wanna see that

 

 

**it’s basically gay ( 3:12 am)**

 

 **leggylance:** it’s quiet out here in the shirogane-white-kogane household

 **leggylance:** the couch and i have become one

 **leggylance:** we’ve bonded

 **leggylance:** kosmo is currently sleeping in adams chair

 **leggylance:** [kosmo-curled-up-in-a-cute-ball-image-jpg]

 **leggylance:** we love a good boi

 **leggylance:** okay, time to sleep again

 **leggylance:** night

 

**it’s basically gay (4:01 am)**

 

 **leggylance:** update

 **leggylance:** i can’t sleep

 **leggylance:** so I scavenged the kitchen

 **leggylance:** I found mochi

 **leggylance:** FUCK ITS MANGO FLAVOR

 **leggylance:** bitch b e t

 

**it’s basically gay (4:25 am)**

 

 **leggylance:** I ate all the mochi

 **scheMATTics:** theyre gunna kill you

 **leggylance:** ive accepted my fate

 **leggylance:** how’s hw

 **scheMATTics:** gross

 **scheMATTics:** but I need to do it

 **scheMATTics:** which means phone off. night lance

 **leggylance:** night matt

 

**it’s basically gay (5:10am)**

 

 **leggylance:** since none of you rats are getting up i’m doing a thing

 **leggylance:** get ready for the thing

 **leggylance:** strap in kiddies

**leggylance changed the group chat to “space fam”**

**leggylance changed “angrypidgeon” name to “techgremlin”**

**leggylance changed “shaydimentary” name to “shaynaminroll”**

**leggylance changed “alluring” name to “spaceprincess”**

**leggylance changed “scheMATTics” name to “ratthew”**

**leggylance changed “hunkalicious” name to “sunshinebro”**

**leggylance changed “takashit” name to “unarmed+dangerous”**

**leggylance changed “dadam” name to “datom”**

**leggylance changed “emoknife” name to “keef”**

**leggylance changed their name to “blueboi”**

 

 **blueboi:** and now we wait…

 

**spacefam (6:36 am)**

 

 **techgremlin:** one, did you sleep

 **techgremlin:** two, w t f lance

 **keef:** LANCE YOU ATE WHAT

 **ratthew:** told you

 **blueboi:** keith

 **blueboi:** also no I didn’t sleep

 **keef:** no

 **datom:** no

 **keef:** NO

 **keef:** that was shiros mochi

 **blueboi:** ill buy him more

 **keef:** you didn’t find mine right?

 **blueboi:** no..?

 **keef:** good

 **blueboi:** what kind is yours

 **keef:** red bean because mangoes are gross

 **blueboi:** *gasps in spanish*

 **blueboi:** he-

 **sunshinebro:** anyways

 **shaynaminroll:** back to the names

 **shaynaminroll** I must say Lance, i’m happy with mine once again.

 **sunshinebro:** Yeah I have no issues with mine either

 **blueboi:** thx shay

 **blueboi:** thx hunk

 **spaceprincess:** mines pretty nice

 **blueboi:** thx princess

 **techgremlin:** im not even gunna comment on mine

 **techgremlin:** but matts-

 **ratthew:** yeah lance

 **ratthew:** wtf

 **blueboi:** matt=matthew so rat =?

 **ratthew:**. . .

 **sunshinebro:** ratthew

 **ratthew:** fine

 **blueboi:** shiro?

 **unarmed+dangerous:** punny

 **unarmed+dangerous:** but you ate my mochi?

 **blueboi:** i’m sorry!

 **blueboi:** I like mangoes

 **unarmed+dangerous:** I expect more tomorrow

 **blueboi:** yessir!

 **blueboi:** so, your name

 **datom:** he giggled

 **blueboi:** thx adam

 **blueboi:** do you like yours

 **datom:** you just made a different variation of it

 **unarmed+dangerous:** he does

 **blueboi:** thx dad

 **blueboi:** keith?

 **keef:** hm

 **blueboi:** name?

 **keef:** i guess

 **blueboi:** WOO

 **blueboi:** I DID A THING

 **keef:** now come get some clothes, we have school

 **blueboi:** on it!

 **sunshinebro:** well this was a lovely wake up meeting but i’m getting ready for class.

 **unarmed+dangerous:** matt, we’ve got that 8am

 **datom:** ha!

 **unarmed+dangerous:** hush, you’re working til 2

 **spaceprincess:** and then have class with me!

 **datom:** s w e e t

 **unarmed+dangerous:** lucky

 **spaceprincess:** oh shiro, i’ll make sure your man is safe

 **unarmed+dangerous:** thx allura

 **techgremlin:** CAN YOU SOGGY WAFFLES SPELL THANKS

 **ratthew:** no

 **blueboi:** no thx

 **techgremlin:** LANCE ITS TOO EARLY FOR YOUR SHIRT

 **shaynaminroll:** shirt

 **techgremlin:** NO STOP

 **keef:** shirt

 **unarmed+dangerous:** sHIRT

 **sunshinebro:** SHIRT

 **spaceprincess:** SHirt

 **ratthew:** s h i r t

 **blueboi:** s h i r t !

 **techgremlin:** burn in hell

 **keef:** i’m already there

 **blueboi:** save me a seat

 **keef:** sure

 **blueboi:** best bf

 **unarmed+dangerous:** GET READY FOR SCHOOL

 **techgremlin:** y’know what shiro

 **unarmed+dangerous:** what

 **techgremlin:** i don’t like how bossy you are

 **unarmed+dangerous:** oh?

 **techgremlin:** yeah

 **ratthew:** pidge what?

 **techgremlin:** yeah

 **techgremlin:** im gunna say it

 **unarmed+dangerous:** say what

 **techgremlin:** i don’t care that you broke your elbow

 **unarmed+dangerous:**.

 **sunshinebro:**.

 **keef:**..

 **spaceprincess:**.

 **unarmed+dangerous:** pidge

 **keef:** pidge omg

 **blueboi:** *wheeeeeeeeze*

 **ratthew:** pidge you absolute fucking aglet

 **sunshinebro:** om g

 **unarmed+dangerous:** pidge I do believe i have lost an entire arm

 **techgremlin:** i’m aware

 **keef:** I

 **techgremlin:** did you break several bones

 **unarmed+dangerous:** well

 **unarmed+dangerous:** yes

 **techgremlin:** THEN

 **techgremlin:** YOU BROKE YOUR ELBOW

 **techgremlin:** AND

 **techgremlin:** I

 **techgremlin:** DONT

 **techgremlin:** CARE

 **techgremlin:** (but I do genuinely care about you losing an arm bc you’re a brave dad and you’re still just as amazing as ever i’m just trying to meme)

 **unarmed+dangerous:** understandable

 **unarmed+dangerous:** now

 **shaynaminroll:** awwwwww pidge

 **techgremlin:** fuCK OFF

 **ratthew:** RATTHEW WANTS TO SAY SOMETHING

 **blueboi:** *hands mic*

 **ratthew:** ehem thx lance

 **ratthew:** ANYWAY

 **ratthew:** SHIRO YOU ABSOLUTE BEEFCAKE

 **datom:** JESUS M A T T

 **techgremlin:** MAAAAAATTT TT T TT

 **unarmed+dangerous:** I’m disowning all of you

 **blueboi:** i just tripped over my(keith’s) pants HELP

 **datom:** that’s what that thud was

 **ratthew:** ANY

 **ratthew:** WAY

 **ratthew:** SHIRO YOU ABSOLUTE BEEFCAKE

 **keef:** christ

 **ratthew:** WE LOVE AND CHARISH YOU AND ON THIS BEAUTIFUL DAY OF OCTOBER THE NINTH, I STATE FOR A FACT THAT YOU ARE AMAZING

 **unarmed+dangerous:** thx matt

 **keef:** matt stop flirting with shiro

 **ratthew:** im not?

 **spaceprincess:** you-

 **techgremlin:** they’ve always been like this

 **unarmed+dangerous:** it’s not that alARMing

 **sunshinebro:** GET READY FOR SCHOOL GUYS I CANT STOP LAUGHING LONG ENOUGH TO FIND A SHIRT

 **shaynaminroll:** I love my friends omg

 

**spacefam (10:16 am)**

 

 **techgremlin:** y’know who we should add

 **keef:** who

 **techgremlin:** coran

 **blueboi:** CORAN OMG

 **blueboi:** HOLD ON

 

**blueboi added Coran Hieronymus Wimbleton Smythe to spacefam**

**blueboi changed “Coran Hieronymus Wimbleton Smythe” to “corn”**

**sunshinebro:** welcome coran

 **blueboi:** hi coran!

 **corn:** Oh my, hello everyone

 **corn:** I haven’t talked to you all in pheobs

 **unarmed+dangerous:** coran we don’t understand your weird time words

 **spaceprincess:** months

 **spaceprincess:** he means months

 **techgremlin:** ohhh

 **corn:** Aren’t all you youngins in school

 **keef:** yes

 **corn:** Then i shall leave for now while you all get a glorious education

 **ratthew:** but coran! we like talking to you

 **corn:** but three of my students are in the chat that I can see and as much as I love them all, I must let them be distraction free from work and studies

 **techgremlin:** s I g h

 **unarmed+dangerous:** okay

 **shaynaminroll:** bye coran!

 **spaceprincess:** bye uncle coran

 

**spacefam (11:46 am)**

 

 **techgremlin:** get this

 **spaceprincess:** oh boy

 **techgremlin:** so this cuntwaffle

 **unarmed+dangerous:** why do I try

 **ratthew:** p i DG E

 **techgremlin:** tried to tell me that I got the 74th digit of pi wrong which is completely absurd

 **ratthew:** obviously

 **techgremlin:** he said it was 6

 **techgremlin:** and it’s definitely 8

 **techgremlin:** so I stood up

 **blueboi:** they did

 **techgremlin:** walked to the whiteboard

 **techgremlin:** erased the whole lesson

 **techgremlin:** and proceeded to write the first one hundred digits of pi in which jackwagon mccrookeddick noticed that he got it confused with the 75th digit of pi

 **blueboi:** and that’s how pidge made a teacher walk out

 **ratthew:** DID YOU REALLY

 **techgremlin:** she came back

 **blueboi:** yeah with a water bottle full of what i’m sure is vodka

 **sunshinebro:** ah teachers

 **keef:** molding our young minds

 **spaceprincess:** jeez pidge

 **techgremlin:** it shut the kid up

 **datom:** true

 **unarmed+dangerous:** weren’t you in bio

 **blueboi:** yes

 **ratthew:** then why pi

 **techgremlin:** bc the dickflapper wanted a fight

 **shaynaminroll:** P IDGR THE NA MES LMG  

 **ratthew:** i love my sib

 **sunshinebro:** well in other news

 **sunshinebro:** shay we never did get to study last night so is it okay if I come over tonight with more cookies since lance ate all of mine

 **shaynaminroll:** yeah that’s fine

 **sunshinebro:** sweet

 **datom:** WAIT

 **shaynaminroll:** wut

 **ratthew:** aren’t you all at the same lunch table

 **techgremlin:** yes

 **unarmed+dangerous:** EAT YOUR LINCH AND PUT DOWN THE PHONES MY GOD

 **keef:** eh

 **sunshinebro:** sorry

 **techgremlin:** request denied

 **keef:** shiro

 **unarmed+dangerous:** yeah

 **keef:** i ordered some things can you pls not open them

 **unarmed+dangerous:** yeah sure

 **datom:** adam popping in to say : IM AT WORK AND YALL HAVE MY ASS VIBRATING

 **unarmed+dangerous:** h o t

 **keef:** tmi

 **spaceprincess:** SHIRO

 **datom:** thx babe

 **techgremlin:** ( -. - )

 **datom:** and 2: I WILL IPEN THEM KEITH

 **keef:** ADAM YOU BITCH NO

 **datom:** HAHAHAHAHAHAHAA

 **datom:** adam out

 **ratthew:** um

 **techgremlin:** well

 **blueboi:** so my phone is dying and yeah I actually have to focus after lunch so bye guys

 **blueboi:** and remember

 **blueboi:** inertia is a property of matter

 **ratthew:** get your bill nye shit out of here

 **techgremlin:** he will reign supreme

 **blueboi:** yeet

 **keef:** i’m dating that

 **techgremlin:** y

 **keef:** he’s soft

 **sunshinebro:** valid

 **soaceprincess:** adam, professor ulaz said he’s canceling the quiz in favor of a movie but we have to take notes so you don’t HAVE to rush after work but make sure you’re here

 **datom:** THANK YOU LURA

 **unarmed+dangerous:** matt wanna go sit in the lounge and watch vines

 **ratthew:** halfway there

 **unarmed+dangerous:** stop by the vending machine

 **ratthew:** cinnamon danishes?

 **unarmed+dangerous:** and choco milk

 **ratthew:** gotcha

 **keef:** you two are ridiculous

 **ratthew:** *amazing

 **techgremlin:** **trash

 **unarmed+dangerous:** i can’t believe you’ve done this

 **ratthew:** s H IRO

 

**techgremlin created “space dust” (2:47)**

**techgremlin added blueboi, shaynaminroll, keef, and sunshinebro to space dust (2:47pm)**

 

 **techgremlin:** a place with no adults my dudes

 **keef:** my fave kind of place

 **sunshinebro** i thought that was in bed

 **keef:** tgat too

 

**space dust (6:30 pm)**

**sunshinebro:** shay i’m coming over

 **shaynaminroll:** kk

 **keef:** lance

 **blueboi:** yeah

 **keef:** you make it home fine

 **blueboi:** yeah

 **techgremlin:** THIS IS NOT A CUTE GAY CHAT THIS IS US BEING SAD DEPRESSED CHOLDREN WHO COVER UP THEIR PAIN WITH MEMES

 **blueboi:** calm down

 **keef:** relaxation

 **shaynaminroll:** chill out

 **sunshinebro:** stop screaming

 **techgremlin:** no

 **blueboi:** I WILL TIRN THIS CHAT AROUND

 **techgremlin:** B E T

 **blueboi:** BITE ME

 **techgremlin:** NO

 **techgremlin:** GROSS

 **blueboi:** THE DISGRACE

 **keef:** I hate this chat already

 **shaynaminroll:** Hunk come in, i’m in the kitchen

 **keef:** sigh

 **techgremlin:** I guess we do hw

 **blueboi:** sorry I have my air pods in can’t hear you

 **techgremlin:** lance

 **blueboi:** i don’t speak poor

 **techgremlin:** lance you can barely speak in coherent sentences

 **blueboi:** shit you right

 **keef:** lance no

 **techgremlin:** nap time

 

**spacefam (8:30pm)**

 

 **unarmed+dangerous:** all these damn kids and not a single notification

 **ratthew:** I gotchu hold on

 **ratthew:** *cough* duh duh duhduh

 **ratthew:** bring the beat in

 **blueboi:** ANYTHING FOR YOU BEYONCE

 **sunshinebro:** LAN CEN MO!

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so i’m rearranging my whole room and I can’t freaking wait bc eeeeeeeee it’s a disaster


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> matts gunna get his ass kicked

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know  
> it’s been a while  
> ....*holds out hand* pretzel??

**spacefam (9:07 am)**

 

**sunshinebro:** we’re watching blues clues in class 

**spaceprincess:** i’m sorry?

**sunshinebro:** i’m deadass

**unarmed+dangerous:** what class

**techgremlin:** engineering

**datom:** y

**trchgremlin:** bc machines

**ratthew:** no not the fucking class, y r u watching blues clues

**sunshinebro:** oh

**techgremlin:** idfk but watching these clumps of skin yell at the tv when they see a clue makes me die inside

**sunshinebro:** hey be nice, acxa and zethrid are in this class.

**techgremlin:** you right

**techgremlin:** everyone is a skin clump but them 

**blueboi:** fair

**keef:** it’s too early for this

**datom:** keith you’re literally in calculus 

**keef:** and

**techgremlin:** you chose this path of brain damage in the morning

**keef:** fuck off

**shaynaminroll:** ooohhh someone is a grump

**keef:** shay I have to politely ask you to fuck off

**blueboi:** at least it was polite 

**keef:** lance hush

**blueboi:** sure

**spaceprincess:** …

**sunshinebro:** how did you do tgat

**keef:** wht 

**techgremlin:** get lance to agree to be quiet

**unarmed+dangerous:** GUYS YPU ARE IN CLASS

**blueboi:** morning dad

**datom:** shiro just let it happen 

**keef:** lance really wants a hug and I don’t so I think he’s trying to earn one

**blueboi:** keith-senpai 

**keef:** g A G

**blueboi:** hug yo mans

**keef:** I will later 

**blueboi:** thx sweetie

**keef:** sure

**sunshinebro:** anyway, shay what are keith and I doing in chem next period 

**shaynaminroll:** making a rainbow 

**blueboi:** im sorry-

**techgremlin:** what-

**shaynaminroll:** basically titrations and neutralizing other chemicals to make a full rainbow in test tubes

**keef:** *gasps in gay*

**sunshinebro:** *gasps in pan*

**blueboi:** *gasps in bi(for later in the day)*

**keef:** hunk were gunna do it

**sunshinebro:** oh hell yeah

**sunshinebro:** we will complete the rainbow 

**keef:** bc gays do it better

**ratthew:** life’s short so eat ass, smoke grass, and pass chem class

**ratthew:** *clap*

**datom:** matt don’t encourage them

**ratthew:** adam you were literally the same in chem

**unarmed+dangerous:** he meant the texting

**ratthew:** oh

**datom:** right

**spaceprincess:** well back to class

**blueboi:** allura y

**spaceprincess:** bc I need to learn

**sunshinebro:** fine

**blueboi:** bi guys

**techgremlin:** (~• . • )~

 

**unarmed+dangerous >ratthew (9:25am)**

 

**unarmed+dangerous:** matt

**ratthew:** yes

**unarmed+dangerous:** make some kind of algorithm or glitch

**ratthew:** for

**unarmed+dangerous:** the gc

**unarmed+dangerous:** these kids need to do the school thing

**unarmed+dangerous:** but make it possible for pidge to crack by morning 

**ratthew:** gotchu

 

**spacefam (11:00am)**

 

**ratthew:** welcome to a group chat partial shutdown. you have 24 hours to crack the code. there’s something for each of you.

**ratthew:** good luck

**keef:** matt wtf

**techgremlin:** m att

**blueboi:** M A

**techgremlin:** (inaccurate data entered: access denied)

 

**space dust (11:08am)**

 

**blueboi:** (inaccurate data entered: access denied)

**techgremlin:** (inaccurate data entered: access denied)

**keef:** (inaccurate data entered: access denied)

 

**PROTECT KEEF(11:10am)**

 

**blueboi:** (inaccurate data entered: access denied)

**techgremlin:** (inaccurate data entered: access denied)

 

**the sun is a deadly laser (11:16am)**

 

**techgremlin:** yo 

**techgremlin:** oof matt didn’t know about this chat 

**blueboi:** it’s been archived bc we never use it

**techgremlin:** i have to hack this

**keef:** how did matt hack this

**blueboi:** he even hacked the baby chat

**sunshinebro:** I think we each have to solve something

**blueboi:** mines in spanish

**keef:** mines in korean but it’s a bunch of memes 

**sunshinebro:** i’ll text shay to tell her well see her at lunch to figure it out

**blueboi:** it shouldn’t be that hard considering mines a riddle that I just cracked.

**techgremlin:** lance what

**blueboi:** yeah, it led me to a morse code sequence 

**blueboi:** the answer to the riddle was bubble

**blueboi:** hunk?

**sunshinebro:** mines in binary

**techgremlin:** same

**sunshinebro:** hmm

 

**sunshinebro >shaynaminroll (11:20am)**

 

**sunshinebro:** we’ll see you at lunch to figure it out

**shaynaminroll:** alrighty tho my phone seems to have a color pattern to figure out and I don’t understand 

**sunshinebro:** itch resting

**shaynaminroll:** right

**sunshinebro:** hmm

 

**the sun is a deadly laser (11:46 pm)**

 

**sunshinebro:** we can’t add people or make new chats

**sunshinebro:** so shay is also gunna be input from me

**blueboi:** kk

**sunshinebro:** anyone figure anything out

**keef:** my first answer was fire

**blueboi:** how?

**keef:** it was a description of the fire alarm dancing girl vine but had a plus sign and the word silence so i’m assuming it was fire

**keef:** now I have a chem equation 

**sunshinebro:** same. my first answer was the sun in binary code

**shaynaminroll:** mine was a color pattern that used the first letters and spelt rock

**sunshinebro:** pidge? 

**techgremlin:** got thru the first 3 and I have two more

**techgremlin:** I got  _ vine _ in binary,  _ radio waves _ from a stupid bop it game that spelt things backwards.  **techgremlin:** fucking matts dumbass

**techgremlin:** and the third was  _ shield _ from a gravity falls coded word search 

**keef:** jeez

**blueboi:** i’m on my third

**blueboi:** my morse code answer was  _ squirtle _ and my current thing is confusing me bc dyslexic 

**blueboi:** matt put too many Ms and N and Is and lowercase l’s and Ps and lowercase q’s

**keef:** i’m pissed

**blueboi:** omg this sucks 

**sunshinebro:** let’s work and eat 

 

**unarmed+dangerous >ratthew (4:22 pm)**

 

**unarmed+dangerous:** keith and lance just came home and yelled something about matt getting duct taped 

**unarmed+dangerous:** what did you do

**ratthew:** heuheuheuheu

 

**spacefam(7:34pm)**

 

**sunshinebro:** MATT YOUVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME

**blueboi:** GOT IT

**blueboi:** OH hi hunk

**blueboi:** MATT YOU BITCH

**keef:** (inaccurate data entered: access denied)

**techgremlin:** (inaccurate data entered: access denied)

**techgremlin:** (inaccurate data entered: access denied)

**techgremlin:** (inaccurate data entered: access denied)

**blueboi:** pidge is going to be pissed

**ratthew:** nice job guys

**ratthew:** pidge has the hardest one so have fun

**shaynaminroll:** ..hi

**shaynaminroll:** OH THANK GOD

**shaynaminroll:** MATT YOU SUCK

**keef:** (inaccurate data entered: access denied)

**keef:** spelled it wrong

**keef:** but i’m here i’m queer and I hope matt gets fucked in the ear

**unarmed+dangerous:** matt? they’re all so mad omg

**spaceprincess:** proud of you guys but matt you cant hide here all day away from pidge 

**datom:** matts gunna be dead tomorrow 

 

**spacefam (10:24 pm)**

  
**techgremlin:** MATG YOU FUHKI H PIRCE OF UNDERRATED HORSE SGUT IM FUCKING PISSED

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh  
> love you?
> 
> okay so, like idk if you’re actually confused bc I am...but I always am😂 but basically shiro told matt to glitch up the groupchat so the kiddies would spend less time on it.   
> it really just made them spend more time tbh
> 
> the codes and riddles and stuff will be explained in the next chapter 👌🏽


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> matt   
> i can’t believe you’ve done this

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’m inconsistent, we know  
> .  
> .  
> but i’m also a sick baby rn

**spacefam (9:22 am)**

 

**techgremlin:** matt is unable to speak rn now do to the fact that I accidentally stepped on his phone

**spaceprincess:** accidentally..?

**techgremlin:** he fucked us over yesterday 

**sunshinebro:** he must suffer

**techgremlin:** takashi 

**unarmed+dangerous:** yes?

**techgremlin:** you’re fucking next

**unarmed+dangerous:** uhhhh

**datom:** why shiro

**techgremlin:** bc he told matt to do it

**keef:** shiro r u fucking serious?!

**keef:** mine was in korean!

**ratthew:** and?

**keef:** I can only speak it! I can’t read it!

**blueboi:** MINE WAS IN INCORRECT SPANISH AND DYSLEXIA ENHANCING ENGLISH 

**unarmed+dangerous:** dyslexia enhancing?

**blueboi:** letters I get mixed up

**spaceprincess:** oh

**blueboi:** matt you bitch

**techgremlin:** exactly why we’ll all talk about this after school today andvroast tf out of matt and shiro

**unarmed+dangerous:** lance you want keith to go to your place?

**blueboi:** keith i’m going to yours so we can kick some robo-arm ass

**keef:** fine by me babe 

**blueboi:** m-

**blueboi:** my heart

**techgremlin:** gross

**unarmed+dangerous:** keith you legit crawled into bed with us at like 3 am bc you missed us and you’re telling me you wanna kick my ass

**datom:** to be fair shiro, you told him he could at any time

**unarmed+dangerous:** WHEN HE WAS 11

**keef:** so I can’t anymore?

**sunshinebro:** SHIRO IF YOU MAKE KEITH SAD

**blueboi:** OOOooo mother hunk

**blueboi:** it’s okay keefers 

**blueboi:** you can always slide into my bed 

**unarmed+dangerous:** lance i’m locking you out of my house

**blueboi:** then keith can spend more time with me

**datom:** he has a point

**spaceprincess:** yeah shiro whatcha gunna do

**unarmed+dangerous:** lock keith in

**sunshinebro:** b e t

**shaynaminroll:** you guys pls don’t antagonize him

**shaynaminroll:** even tho he was part of the reason we’re killing matt

**corn:** coran here to say please don’t kill one of my star students 

**blueboi:** heh

**blueboi:** STAR students 

**blueboi:** get it

**techgremlin:** yes lance 

**techgremlin:** don’t worry coran, i’ll only maim him

**corn:** that’s fine 

**techgremlin:** ANYWAY

**techgremlin:** i’ll text you all after class so we can roast matt

**blueboi:** kewl

**datom:** rad

**spaceprincess:** kk

**sunshinebro:** yeet

**ratthew:** parish

 

**spacefam (4:26 pm)**

 

**techgremlin:** ok

**techgremlin:** i have noodles 

**techgremlin:** and i’m calm

**ratthew:** I currently have a black eye but okay 

**datom:** shiros missing an artificial limb hush

**shaynaminroll:** wut

**unarmed+dangerous:** keith hid it

**keef:** never should’ve told me how to take it off

**datom:** I witnessed lance hold shiro back before he could tackle keith and i’m impressed

**blueboi:** thx adam

**keef:** same

**techgremlin:** gross keith

**keef:** I DIDNT DO ANYTHING 

**techgremlin:** you thought something gross

**keef:** actually I was thinking of lance 

**techgremlin:** yeah, gross

**sunshinebro:** pidge!

**techgremlin:** what hunk

**spaceprincess:** be nice to your friends 

**techgremlin:** no

**ratthew:** why

**techgremlin:** lance took my pudding cup

**blueboi:** omfg 

**unarmed+dangerous:** well keith then proceeded to push me so that’s nice

**keef:** aww so sad

**unarmed+dangerous:** hey guys today my brother pushed me so i’m starting a kickstarter to put him down

**sunshinebro:** S H I R O NO

**unarmed+dangerous:** the benefits of killing him would be i’d get pushed way less 

**keef:** go off i guess

**blueboi:** ANYWAY BACK TO THE CODES

**shaynaminroll:** RIght right

**blueboi:** Well mine was this weird set of riddles, morse,  and word searches that gave me the words bubble, squirtle, laser, frozen, and rawr

**blueboi:** AND FROM THAT I FIGURED OUT IT WAS BLUE LION

**blueboi:** FROM THE FUCKING VOLTRON GAMES WE PLAYED AS KIDS

**keef:** no fucking way

**blueboi:** what

**ratthew:** uehuehuehueh

**techgremlin:** HUSH MATT YOU UNDERCOOKED NOODLE

**sunshinebro:** I had sun, dirt, rhydon, cannon, and rawr 

**sunshinebro:** so yellow lion

**blueboi:** keef?

**keef:** fire, blaziken, blade, rawr, and speed

**keef:** matt I should honestly beat you

**keef:** you gave us all our old lions??? 

**ratthew:** you forgot about red?

**keef:** NO BUT WE WERE KIDS

**datom:** and what’s with the pokémon

**ratthew:** i’m a nerd

**techgremlin:** a fuckibg trainwreck is what you are

**datom:** jeez pidge

**spaceprincess:** be happy your mans isn’t near them rn

**techgremlin:** ditto allura

**blueboi:** wait

**spaceprincess:** shay didn’t have a lion

**shaynaminroll:** no but I was the princess of planet balmera 

**blueboi:** oh god

**shaynaminroll:** I had rock, energy, life, crystal, and solrock was my pokémon hint

**sunshinebro:** well pidge?

**techgremlin:** MATT YOU ABSOLUTE FUCK TARD  HE GAVE ME 10PUZZLES AND 5 OF THEM HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE GREEN LION

**techgremlin:** my lion answers were vine, shield, radio waves, rawr, and fuCKING rotom 

**blueboi:** but that’s a ghost and grass type

**techgremlin:** EXCEPT IT CAN BE GRASS AND ELECTRIC DEPENDING ON WHAT ITS NEAR AND I FUCKING FORGOT

**datom:** matt you must really wanna die today 

**ratthew:** not particularly no

**sunshinebro:** sad

**spaceprincess:** what were the other 5 about

**techgremlin:** shiro you’ll love this

**shaynaminroll:** oh god

**unarmed+dangerous:** matt you didn’t have to piss them off that much

**techgremlin:** it was astral, wings, leader, Absol, and rawr 

**spaceprincess:** awwww shiro was the black lion! I remember now!

**blueboi:** well what do we do to them

**datom:** well shiros currently looking for his arm sooooo

**keef:** fine he’s punished enough

**unarmed+dangerous:** ye

**keef:** i’m gunna go watch some anime tell me what happens with matt

**blueboi:** OOH WHAT ARE WE WATCHING

**keef:** uhhh i’m not sure

**techgremlin:** go watch lucky star

**datom:** why

**ratthew:** bc

**keef:** actually 

**sunshinebro:** how about ass class

**spaceprincess:** i’m sorry what

**ratthew:** assassination classroom 

**keef:** I will

**keef:** cmon lance we watching ass class

**blueboi:** and kosmos  coming too!

**techgremlin:** keith...watching association classroom?

**shaynaminroll:** hey it’s pretty good

**datom:** he just relates to karma

**unarmed+dangerous:** ...you right

**blueboi:** omg my mans is basically karma

**keef:** hush

**techgremlin:** well matt has a glitchy phone, a black eye, and about $35 missing from his bank account so

**ratthew:** wait

**unarmed+dangerous:** FOUND MY ARM

**shaynaminroll:** nice shiro

**shaynaminroll:** where was it

**unarmed+dangerous:** in adams healthy snack cupboard 

**datom:** bc you never go in there

**spaceprincess:** clever klance 

**blueboi:** who

**keef:** is that our names together?

**ratthew:** ye

**blueboi:** what about laith 

**techgremlin:** eh

**spaceprincess:** idk

**keef:** fight?

**techgremlin:** later

**sunshinebro:** well i’m doing my hw so let me know what happens with matt

**blueboi:** will do!

**spaceprincess:** Same, I got assigned the reading portion of our project 

**unarmed+dangerous:** thank god

**corn:** because every group project mr takashi is in, hes the reader

**unarmed+dangerous:** you’re right coran

**techgremlin:** OH

**techgremlin:** PLAN

**spaceprincess:** pidge?

**techgremlin:** I got my matt plan

**techgremlin:** outtie

**ratthew:** aaaaand i’m dead

**shaynaminroll:** it’s not that serious 

**ratthew:** THEY PUT A CUP OF WATER OVER MY LAPTOP UNEVENLY BALANCED

**ratthew:** AND THEN PROCEEDED TO TELL MD HOW NUCH TIME THEY WASTED ON THE PUZZLE AND CALLED ME AN UNCIRCUMCISED WHALE PENIS

**datom:** piiiiD GE E ONG (O.o)

**techgremlin:** don’t forget I recreated that vine

**unarmed+dangerous:** which one

**ratthew:** the one with the fucking vacuum

**blueboi:** PIDGE YOU DIDNT

**ratthew:** THEYBFUCKING PUT A VACUUM HOSE TO MY MOUTH IN MY SLEEP 

**spaceprincess:** an icon 

**sunshinebro:** i’m scared

 

**spacefam (8:46 pm)**

 

**techgremlin:** the new an improved matt

**techgremlin:** [matt-sleeping-with-his-ponytail-cut-off-image-jpg]

**spaceprincess:** PIDGE NO

**datom:** HE LOVED THAT

**spaceprincess:** I LOVED THAT

**techgremlin:** AND I LOVED MY SANITY BUT HE FUCkeD WORH IT

**sunshinebro:** it’ll grow back

**techgremlin:** now we wait till he awakens

**blueboi:** well in other news, keith only needs his wrist brace for a couple more weeks

**shaynaminroll:** well that’s good

**blueboi:** yeeahhhhh, but we had to go to the hospital to find that out

**sunshinebro:** why’d you guys go to the hospital 

**blueboi:** keef?

**keef:** shut up

**shaynaminroll:** what’d he do

**unarmed+dangerous:** [grumpy-keith-with-bandages-on-his-right-cheek-image-jpg]

**spaceprincess:** KEITH WHAT HAPPENED 

**shaynaminroll:** oh keith, hun

**blueboi:** he miscalculated catching that blade his mom got him and it sliced his cheek

**techgremlin:** brb in fucKING CACKLIBG

**spaceprincess:** keith really shouldn’t have sharp things

**keef:** what about my wit 

**techgremlin:** . . . nice

**keef:** thx

**datom:** well anyway, he’s fine. krolia thought it was pretty cool considering it matches her weird birthmarks 

**blueboi:** shit you right

**unarmed+dangerous:** well this has been anight 

**techgremlin:** i’m gunna go hide now

**shaynaminroll:** matt waking up?

**techgremlin:** mhmm

**spaceprincess:** run pidgey 

**techgremlin:** I will allura

**ratthew:** it’s cold in our house what?

**ratthew:** my neck is freezing

**unarmed+dangerous:** oh no

**ratthew:** what

**spaceprincess:** nothing

**ratthew:** .

**datom:** . .

**ratthew:** . . . PIDGE WHERE THE FUCK

**sunshinebro:** aaaand tgat wraps today up

 

**spacefam (2:43 am)**

 

**unarmed+dangerous:** keith why isn’t lance on the couch

**datom:** shiro y

**unarmed+dangerous:** I wanted a snack

**unarmed+dangerous:** and lance isn’t out here like i thought he’d be

**ratthew:** check keets room

**unarmed+dangerous:** omg

**shaynaminroll:** what

**unarmed+dangerous:** this is the most wholesome thing

**spaceprincess:** INDULGE US

**unarmed+dangerous:** [keith-asleep-on-bed-lance-asleep-on-floor-and-theyre-holding-hands-image-jpg]

**datom:** precious 

**unarmed+dangerous:** HOLY SHIT

**unarmed+dangerous:** lance has red

**unarmed+dangerous:** keith let him sleep with red

**ratthew:** this is a good

 

**spacefam (4:47 am)**

 

**keef:** shir io wgat th fuuck

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeeeeeeee  
> ✨  
> I’ll try and update at least every two weeks. I’m just lazy.   
> But I did write a vampire lance one shot if you wanna read that 👌🏽   
> I actually might start writing them more often idk.  
> BUT ILY AND YE YEET


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uhhhh, Matt has a realization and everyone has apparently had a secret bet with each other.  
> Krolia hops up in the chat again.  
> and all the couples being cutesy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yeah yeah  
> i’m late  
> same old story. i’m a lazy depressed shit and I didn’t wanna write  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> BUT SOMEONE ASKED FOR MORE KROLIA SO UNFFF HERE SHE IS

**spacefam (10:32 am)**

 

 **ratthew:** eh hem

 **techgremlin:** oh boy

 **sunshinebro:** yes matt?

 **ratthew:** so as you know, takashi and I are besties

 **datom:** (￣。￣)～ｚｚｚ

 **ratthew:** ROOD

 **blueboi:** omfg it’s a friday can I pleaseeeeeeee sleep

 **spaceprincess:** lance, you’re in class

 **blueboi:** yeah I know

 **techgremlin:** he’s already read and memorized the bio chapters

 **keef:** pidge?

 **sunshinebro:** hyping lance up?

 **techgremlin:** I know

 **techgremlin:** it grosses me out too

 **blueboi:** HEY

 **keef:** HEY

 **keef:** be nice to him

 **techgremlin:** keef hush

 **techgremlin:** but seriously, what lance lacks in normal brain function (meant in the nicest way possible) he makes up for in his hyper focus study sessions

 **shaynaminroll:** u right

 **ratthew:** CAN I PLS

 **spaceprincess:** go ahead sweetie

 **ratthew:** thx lura

 **spaceprincess:** (✿◠‿◠)

 **ratthew:** ANYWAYS

 **ratthew:** adams mans and I are besties

 **techgremlin:** yes

 **ratthew:** and as besties we go out to lunch

 **keef:** mhmm

 **unarmed+dangerous:** matt it’s not that serious

 **ratthew:** IT IS KASHI

 **datom:** hey, I call him that

 **ratthew:** I know but I need to type quick and his name is long

 **ratthew:** but yeah, we goes to the little food place, we eat, laugh and have a good bro time

 **sunshinebro:** two bros …

 **spaceprincess:** not the time hunk

 **sunshinebro:** (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:･ﾟ✧

 **ratthew:** and aS WE ARE ABOUT TO PAY

 **unarmed+dangerous:** here he goes

 **ratthew:** THEY GIVE SHIRO THE CHECK

 **ratthew:** (┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻

 **sunshinebro:** I don’t get it

 **ratthew:** lance who got the check last time you and keith went somewhere

 **blueboi:** uhhhh

 **keef:** lance did, they always give it to him

 **techgremlin:** omg matt!

 **techgremlin:** YOURE STILL ON THIS

 **sunshinebro:** On what?

 **spaceprincess:** Yeah, I get the checks too when we go out what’s up

 **ratthew:** shay?

 **shaynaminroll:** it’s usually 50/50 with me and hunk

 **techgremlin:** oh..

 **unarmed+dangerous:** MATT

 **ratthew:** WELL POINT IS ITS LIKE WHOMEVER GETS TGE CHECK HANDED TO THEM, ITS LIKE TGEYVE ASSIGNED WHOS THE TOP

 **datom:** oh matt

 **spaceprincess:** sweetie-

 **keef:** lance don’t even

 **blueboi:** THE FLATTERY

 **datom:** matt you’re not even dating shiro

 **ratthew:** NO BUT SHIROS A FUCKING BOTTOM BITCH AND I STILL HAVE WEEB BOTTOM ENERGY

 **spaceprincess:** matt I hate to break it to you but-

 **ratthew:** yes lura, I know I AM but I figured I could at least beat out shiro

 **techgremlin:** this is vital info thx

 **sunshinebro:** PIDGE

 **techgremlin:** heh heh heh

 **blueboi:** wow serving me info I didn’t even know about myself

 **spaceprincess:** lance go back to sleep

 **techgremlin:** also, nice adam!

 **shaynaminroll:** hunk pay up

 **sunshinebro:** UGH

 **unarmed+dangerous:** you bet on us?

 **shaynaminroll:** yeah, hunk thought shiro was the boss man but turns out it’s adam so I win

 **sunshinebro:** fiiiiine

 **keef:** pidge, i’ll get you your burrito tomorrow

 **ratthew:** WHOD YOU BET ON

 **keef:** matt y couldn’t you have been a top I had faith and ice cream riding on this

 **datom:** omg

 **corn:** GO TO CLASS

 **datom:** ehem

 **corn:** right

 **corn:** adam your next pop quiz is an A.

 **datom:** THX MATT

 **ratthew:** OH CMON

 

**unarmed+dangerous changed ‘spacefam’ to ‘spoopy spacefam’ (2:33 pm)**

 

 **unarmed+dangerous:** ur welcome

 **keef:** oof

 **techgremlin:** spooky dad energy

 **unarmed+dangerous:** YES

 **blueboi:** U KNO WHAT THIS MEANS

 **sunshinebro:** LANCE NO

 **techgremlin:** NO CHARACTER USERNAME CHANGES

 **blueboi:** fine

 **datom:** too much thinking anyway

 **spaceprincess:** UGH WHAT THE FUCK

 **blueboi:** uh

 **shaynaminroll:** um hi?

 **blueboi:** hi allura

 **spaceprincess:** AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

 **sunshinebro:** Matt?

 **ratthew:** idek

 **ratthew:** babe?

 **techgremlin:** gross

 **sunshinebro:** pidge!

 **spaceprincess:** THIS FUCKING CONSTELLATION PROJECT READING IS MAKING MY FUCKING PATIENCE DWINDLE

 **spaceprincess:** I WAS LATE TO CLASS

 **spaceprincess:** THIS DUMBASS WONT STOP SINGING OFF KEY

 **spaceprincess:** AND I STUBBED MY TOE

 **ratthew:** oh sweetie

 **keef:** allura it’s gunna be fine

 **spaceprincess:** IF ANYONE SO MUCH AS LOOKS AT ME WRING IM GONNA BLOW MY NUTS OFF WOTH A SHOTGUN

 **unarmed+dangerous:** um allura

 **shaynaminroll:** hi yes I don’t believe you can

 **spaceprincess:** I

 **spaceprincess:** WILL

 **datom:** but you-

 **spaceprincess:** I WILL FUCKING

 **spaceprincess:** BLOW

 **spaceprincess:** MY

 **spaceprincess:** NUTS

 **spaceprincess:** OFF

 **techgremlin:** you do that hun

 **ratthew:** i’ll bring you a chai tea latte

 **spaceprincess:** safety on

 **keef:** uhhhhh

 **blueboi:** class?

 **techgremlin:** yeah

 

**spoopy spacefam (4:24 pm)**

 

 **spaceprincess:** update, I is better

 **keef:** good

 **blueboi:** I FUCKING LOVE FRIDAYS

 **keef:** ahh, lance is finally fully awake

 **blueboi:** ye

 **blueboi:** and awake lance is gunna take his beautiful boyfriend out for a walk around downtown and then drop him off at his moms

 **keef:** that boy

 **keef:** tgat sweet boy

 **keef:** is mine

 **techgremlin:** B A R F

 **sunshinebro:** pidgeeeee

 **blueboi:** ( 　ﾟ,_ゝﾟ)

 **spaceprincess:** accept the affection

 **techgremlin:** no

 **keef:** pidgey

 **techgremlin:** lance i’ve already hit you once today

 **unarmed+dangerous:** wh-

 **techgremlin:** he gave me a hug and called me his favorite little hobgoblin

 **ratthew:** OMG

 **blueboi:** hey I forgot a word so I called you that

 **sunshinebro:** at least he kept it gender neutral

 **shaynaminroll:** u rite

 **spaceprincess:** speaking of tgat, pidge can you still let me give you a makeover? I wanna practice on fair skin and matts too wiggley

 **techgremlin:** I guess

 **spaceprincess:** REALLY

 **techgremlin:** well you know my boundaries and won’t make me go out in it and won’t force me in a dress so I don’t see a problem

 **spaceprincess:** a sweetheart

 **ratthew:** *gremlin

 **unarmed+dangerous:** keith what are you doing

 **datom:** yeah you’re quiet

 **keef:** moms texting me

 **blueboi:** and?

 **keef:** she’s just checking up

 **datom:** a good mom

 

**krayola >keef (4:52pm)**

 

 **krayola:** and your boyfriend is dropping you off

 **keef:** mhm

 **krayola:** do I know him

 **keef:** yeah

 **keef:** he’s the loud and pretty one remember,

 **krayola:** OH HIM

 **krayola:** awww keith that’s so cute

 **keef:** thx mom

 **krayola:** okay tho, so hunk gave me your favorite recipes and i’ve been trying them out for you

 **keef:** fr??

 **krayola:** yes?

 **keef:** OH THANK YOU MOM CAN YOU MAKE THE LEMON CHICKEN

 **krayola:** yeah that’s fine

 **keef:** (●´ω｀●)

 

**spoopy spacefam (5:05pm)**

 

 **keef:** ahhh

 **keef:** we love a good gay moment

 **unarmed+dangerous:** huh?

 **datom:** what’d I miss?

 **keef:** nothing, just thinking

 **techgremlin:** about?

 **keef:** I was gunna get a purple switchblade knife but this has a flashlight

 **keef:** [black-tacforce-knife-image- jg]

 **shaynaminroll:** i love her

 **ratthew:** dude are knives just gay culture??

 **spaceprincess:** cowboys, knives, skateboards,,,,

 **unarmed+dangerous:** knives give the gays protection

 **datom:** TRUUUUUUUUU

 **keef:** and historically speaking cowboys/cottage witches have always been gay culture

 **blueboi:** we love historic gay culture that we never learned

 **techgremlin:** well think about it

 **shaynaminroll:** wide open spaces with no one around

 **techgremlin:** where seclusion with maybe one other person is the norm

 **unarmed+dangerous:** it's a gay dream

 **blueboi:** hell its my dream

 **sunshinebro:** i mean it offered the most protection for le gays

 **techgremlin:** especially if you were trans

 **blueboi:** plus safety of knives

 **keef:** n guns

 **spaceprincess:** then complete seclusion with that one safe bystander friend who knows?

 **shaynaminroll:** hell yes

 **datom:** and the cows

 **sunshinebro:** moo friends

 **blueboi:** cute milk buddies

 **ratthew:** uhhh

 

**krayola >keef (5:25pm)**

 

 **krayola:** sweetie I found something you might want

 **krayola:** [red-and-black-taser-image-jpg]

 **keef:** MOM

 **keef:** PLS

 **krayola:** I bought it

 **keef:** REALLY

 **keef:** fuck yES

 **krayola:** gotta keep my gaybie safe

 **keef:** ew

 **krayola:** stop, i’ve seen the pictures of you hugging tgat pretty boy

 **keef:** already? who sent them

 **krayola:** unimportant. but if he gets affection from u, I can give it

 **keef:** fine

 **keef:** btw, you owe me $20

 **krayola:** y

 **keef:** adashi bet

 **krayola:** you’re kidding?

 **keef:** nope

 **krayola:** prove it

 **keef:** omg mom

 **krayola:** keithy you ain’t getting shit till I got proof

 **keef:** ughhhh hold on

 

**spoopy spacefam (5:35 pm)**

 

**keef added krayola to spoopy spacefam**

**keef:** she doesn’t believe me tgat shiros a bottom

 **unarmed+dangerous:** AUNT KROLIA

 **krayola:** BOY IM OUT TWENTY BUCKS FROM MY SON IF ITS TRUE

 **datom:** krolia

 **krayola:** adam

 **krayola:** don’t make me lose 20 to my son

 **datom:** you lost 20 to your son

 **krayola:** FUCK

 **blueboi:** ahahahahahshdhaha

 **krayola:** ah lance

 **blueboi:** Yes ma’am

 **krayola:** i’d like a proper “i’m dating your son blah blah blah protection” speech from you

 **ratthew:**..

 **techgremlin:** ….

 **sunshinebro:** …..

 **spaceprincess:** lance-

 **datom:** i’m sorry but omg

 **blueboi:** HEY I CAN PROTECT KEITH

 **shaynaminroll:** i’m not saying you can’t hun but

 **techgremlin:** keith’s got 5 knives on him at all times

 **blueboi:** sigh

 **blueboi:** you right

 **datom:** hmmmm

 **blueboi:** BUT I WILL TRY MY BEST

 **krayola:** rad

 **keef:** alright bye

 **krayola:** KEITH KOGANE

 **keef:** YEET MOM

**keef removed krayola from the group**

**techgremlin:** savage

 **keef:** thx

 **unarmed+dangerous:** well i’ve had enough revealing secrets today

 **ratthew:** same

 **shaynaminroll:** i’ve been trying to study all day you guys are just a bad influence

 **sunshinebro:** same ^^^^

 **ratthew:** i’ve been scrolling thru memes all night

 **datom:** same^^^^

 **blueboi:** well then, that concludes today’s episode of “school gays interacting “

 **techgremlin** lance wtf-

 **blueboi:** (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ

 **ratthew:** (☉‿☉✿)

 **blueboi:** ◕3◕

 **ratthew:** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 **techgremlin:** щ(ಠ益ಠщ)

 **keef:** •_•

 **techgremlin:** ┬──┬ ¯\\_(ツ)

 **techgremlin:** ┬──┬ ノ( ゜-゜ノ)

 **techgremlin:** (╯ಠ_ರೃ)╯︵ ┻━┻

 **blueboi:** ┬──┬ ︵(╯。□。）╯

 **unarmed+dangerous:** YOU ALL NEED A FUCKING HOBBY

 **shaynaminroll:** dad cussed

 **blueboi:** (◡︿◡✿)

 **ratthew:** psst, lance

 **blueboi:** hmm

 **ratthew:** next one is us as a meme team

 **ratthew:** ＼（＾○＾）人（＾○＾）／

 **blueboi:** Y E S

 **techgremlin:** omfg

 

**keef >unarmed+dangerous, datom**

 

 **keef:** can krolia send something to our house

 **keef:** it’s a gift for me

 **unarmed+dangerous:** yeah sure

 **datom:** what is it

 **keef:** a taser

 **datom:** i’m sorry??

 **keef:** listen I just really want it

 **datom:** sigh

 **unarmed+dangerous:** your birthday is coming up

 **datom:** but it’s not like it’s a gift from us

 **unarmed+dangerous:** yeah sure

 **keef:** yeah?

 **unarmed+dangerous:** as long as it’s displayed and not used

 **keef:** THX YOU GUYS

 **datom:** y our house

 **keef:** i think we have regulations on tasers n shit

 **datom:** that’s rude to me and the gays

 **unarmed+dangerous:** agreed

 

**spoopy spacefam (7:49pm)**

 

 **blueboi:** well i’m here without a mans as he’s at his madres home so I need cheering up

 **techgremlin:** [ https://youtu.be/qjwhH_On56M ](https://youtu.be/qjwhH_On56M)

**blueboi:** gasp

 **blueboi:** thank you

 **techgremlin:** mhmm

 **blueboi:** yeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

 **keef:** he’s so cute

 **techgremlin:** y u c k y

 **datom:** y’know i’ve never actually heard keith gush about someone like he does to lance

 **unarmed+dangerous:** adam

 **datom:** what? it’s cute. and he’s gone so he can’t hurt me

 **sunshinebro:** true

 **keef:** you wanna bet?

 **datom:** try me shorty

 **spaceprincess:** A DAM

 **blueboi:** awwww is that a nickname?

 **unarmed+dangerous:** yeah, he still has a step stool for the higher things in his closet

 **keef:** GUYS

 **shaynaminroll:** keith i’m sorry but that’s adorable

 **sunshinebro:** see! shay thinks it’s cute

 **spaceprincess:** lance?

 **blueboi:** sorry I just realized how absolutely adorable keith is

 **blueboi:** I must protect

 **keef:** oh.

 **unarmed+dangerous:** awww keith

 **keef:** shut up shiro or you’re next

 **techgremlin:** I taught keith how to hack someone’s phone to play porn for 4 hours straight id listen to him

 **ratthew:** Why would you do that

 **techgremlin:** it was funny

 **keef:** nah i’ll save that for a different day

 **keef:** look what krolia bought me

 **keef:** [amazon-receipt-for-taser-image-jpg]

 **ratthew:** oh my god

 **blueboi:** I know

 **keef:** isn’t it pretty

 **datom:** normal teenage boys like comic books and shit but no, my son likes violent items and speeding

 **keef:** hey I like comic books

 **keef:** but all i’m saying is

 **keef:** I have knives

 **keef:** and a taser

 **keef:** I can take over the world

 **techgremlin:** keithhhrhthh

 **datom:** he probably could

 **blueboi:** babe have you slept

 **keef:** why

 **blueboi:** no reason

 **sunshinebro:** hmmm, I don’t like comic books

 **shaynaminroll:** hunk?

 **sunshinebro:** i’m just saying, not a fan

 **sunshinebro:** I mean obviously, nothings really gendered towards anyone but yeah, never really been a fan of them

 **techgremlin:** I mean, I hate tge color pink

 **ratthew:** indifferent about it

 **spaceprincess:** I only like pastel pink.

 **keef:** pinks an awful color

 **blueboi:** I like it

 **datom:** no from me

 **shaynaminroll:** it’s okay

 **sunshinebro:** it’s cute

 **unarmed+dangerous:** I think it’s calming

 **sunshinebro:** see, different opinions on something seen as feminine from different people

 **spaceprincess:** also the fact that pidge put us all in our place and gave us a long ass lecture about this stuff

 **techgremlin:** tru

 **ratthew:** that was truly a scary day

 **keef:** pidge was seething

 **sunshinebro:** a mad pidge is a terrifying pidge

 **sunshinebro:** even tho we all for the most part we’re pretty understanding and accepting considering the fact that I think 4 of us were out at the time

 **shaynaminroll:** f a c t s

 **blueboi:** soooo, on this topic then, i’ve got a question

 **blueboi:** aimed more towards shay and allura

 **shaynaminroll:** yeah

 **spaceprincess:** sup lance

 **blueboi:** say, one of the boys here liked dressing up and is the same size as allura and really wants to have a small sleepover with you two

 **spaceprincess:** lance obviously you can have a sleepover with us!

 **blueboi:** really?!

 **keef:** told you they’d say yes lance

 **techgremlin:** why can’t you just dress up with keith?

 **datom:** bc he hates it

 **blueboi:** and I literally mean /dress/ up

 **unarmed+dangerous:** keith would murder you if you put him in a skirt

 **ratthew:** i put him in one of pidges old ones

 **ratthew:** not that scary

 **datom:** yeah bc he only threw books at your head and hid your phone so pidge could permanently erase all evidence

 **keef:** i’m not a feminine person

 **datom:** fair

 **techgremlin:** same

 **spaceprincess:** point is, yes lance

 **spaceprincess:** shay, can you come over to my place tomorrow night?

 **shaynaminroll:** i’m sure I can

 **blueboi:** WOOOO

 **ratthew:** I need pictures

 **keef:** we all do

 **shaynaminroll:** of course

 **blueboi:** LEGGY LANCE RETURNS

 **datom:** dear god him and his legs again

 **blueboi:** when you’ve got legs as good as mine, you’ve got to show them off sometimes

 **blueboi** : just like my man hunk and his fucking arms

 **shaynaminroll:** right you are lance

 **shaynaminroll:** 110%

 **sunshinebro:** huh

 **shaynaminroll:** Hunk, dear, you have AMAZING arms

 **sunshinebro:** is that why you and lance cut my sleeves off a couple shirts last summer

 **shaynaminroll:** yes

 **blueboi:** yes

 **sunshinebro:** omg

 **blueboi:** SHIRO

 **unarmed+dangerous:** yeah?

 **blueboi:** can we borrow your eyeliner

 **unarmed+dangerous:** yeah, it’s almost out so keep it. i’ve got a new one to open anyway

 **datom:** shiro. the man with wings that stabbed me thru the heart

 **unarmed+dangerous:** jeez

 **techgremlin:** you’re all sickening

 **blueboi:** thx pidge

 **keef:** awwwww they love us

 **techgremlin:** my heart simply does not and cannot compute an emotion such as love

 **blueboi:** pidge you literally proclaimed your love to a cup of coffee bc it was a triple shot and as ice cream in it

 **techgremlin:** no proof

 **blueboi:** I have videos

 **techgremlin:** give me a minute

 **sunshinebro:** what?

 **datom:** uhhhhh

 **ratthew:** pidge don’t hack him

 **blueboi:** they currently are

 **blueboi:** I see the icon

 **blueboi:** it’s in a locked folder pidge

 **blueboi:** you’ve never gotten into this app yet

 **techgremlin:** SHIT

 **techgremlin:** can I steal your phone monday?

 **blueboi:** to back up all my apps to hack

 **techgremlin:** yes

 **blueboi:** sigh, I guess

 **techgremlin:** friendship

 **unarmed+dangerous:** well, i’m tired

 **datom:** and that’s shiro saying he and adam (me) finally have the house to themselves and wanna fuck

 **techgremlin:** and that’s my que to leave

 **spaceprincess:** night bitches

 **ratthew:** I need to be blessed

 **shaynaminroll:** omg

 

**sunshinebro > shaynaminroll (9:34 pm)**

 

 **sunshinebro:** night sweetheart

 **shaynaminroll:** night baby <3

 **sunshinebro:** *gasp*

 **sunshinebro:** the cute

 **shaynaminroll:** omg

 **sunshinebro:** have fun with lance and allura tomorrow

 **shaynaminroll:** I will!

 **sunshinebro:** <3

 

**ratthew > spaceprincess (9:38 pm)**

 

 **ratthew:** night princess

 **spaceprincess:** night you fucking nerd

 **ratthew:** I love when you talk down to me (¬‿¬)

 **spaceprincess:** MAtT

 **ratthew:** i’m kidding i’m kidding

 **spaceprincess:** jeez go to bed

 **ratthew:** (づ｡◕‿‿◕｡)づ

 **spaceprincess:** night

 **ratthew:** <3

 

**krayola > keef (9:38 pm)**

 

 **krayola:** I can hear you giggling

 **keef:** lies

 **krayola:** I don’t lie

 **keef:** funny

 **krayola:** what

 **keef:** tgat was a lie

 **krayola:** sigh

 **krayola:** I love my son

 **keef:** yeah?

 **krayola:** mhm

 **krayola:** he does this thing

 **keef:** what

 **krayola:** he calls me out on my shit

 **keef:** i’m a good kid

 **krayola:** the goodest keith

 **krayola:** fr tho, you talking to lance?

 **keef:** ye

 **krayola:** tell him I said night

 **krayola:** gotchu

 **krayola:** night keithy

 **keef:** night mom

 

**keef > blueboi (9:38 pm)**

 

 **blueboi:** night mullet

 **keef:** y’know, I was thinking of getting part of my hair shaved

 **blueboi:** gasp

 **blueboi:** ( /)w(\✿)

 **blueboi:** you wouldn’t

 **blueboi:** you know I’m joking

 **blueboi:** I love your hair

 **keef:** I know

 **keef:** but i still want an undercut type thing

 **keef:** it’d still be long, just not as much hair

 **blueboi:** i

 **keef:** wut

 **blueboi:** pls

 **keef:** huh

 **blueboi:** cut it you’d look hot

 **keef:** laNCE

 **blueboi:** pls

 **keef:** ooh! wait, not an undercut, what about the sides???

 **blueboi:** keith i’m gunna spontaneously combust jeez mccheese

 **keef:** oh cmon you’re exaggerating

 **blueboi:** keith

 **blueboi:** the moon to my stars

 **blueboi:** the water to my crops

 **blueboi:** the green sauce to my enchilada

 **blueboi:** the yee to my haw

 **keef:** get to the point i’m dying

 **blueboi:** you already look amazing af with your hair and everything about you so don’t take offense when I say this but pls cut your hair one of those ways

 **keef:** y

 **blueboi:** well you seem to want to for one

 **keef:** yeahhhh

 **blueboi:** also, you’d look like s more badass version of you and holy shut I need that in my life

 **keef:** omg lance

 **blueboi:** I mean, your hair your choice

 **blueboi:** just

 **blueboi:** w o w

 **keef:** hmmm I have some thinking to do I guess

 **blueboi:** oof

 **keef:** night babe

 **blueboi:** night pretty boy

 **keef:** <3

 **blueboi:** (✿ ♥‿♥)

 

**datom > unarmed+dangerous (9:42 pm)**

 

 **datom:** marvel marathon

 **unarmed+dangerous:** a man who knows my heart

 

**spoopy spacefam (3:43 am)**

 

 **techgremlin:** TRIPLE FUCKING SHOOTTTT

 

**krayola > keef (3:57 am)**

 

 **krayola:** I know you’re up i’m outside swinging a knife at some annoying fucking bugs

 **krayola:** help?

 **keef:** um duh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> basically, went on a three day road trip with a friend to South Dakota, sprained my wrist at work, fucked up my thumb from the same hand as wrist incident, had an epiphany and realized my gay ass will be forever alone and had like 5 mental breakdowns soooooo  
> can that be an excuse?
> 
> a lot of these conversations are based off my friends and i so that’s a thing 😂  
> but, (heh, butt) I wanna know what you guys think about the story c:  
> I know i’m not the funniest but y’know, love me some more feedback. And thanks to those who have already given me some 😊🥰
> 
> so, question: Keith with an undercut (he’d still be able to make a ponytail), or shaved sides??  
> Whatcha think? ✨
> 
>  
> 
> ps, love me some fan art if you guys ever wanted to make any 😊😊  
> my tumblr is caffeineklance and my insta is caffeinated.wreck❤️


	11. Chapter 11 (part 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this is gunna be a two parter bc i promised to get a chapter out today and its gunna be long af so i decided that ill split it and finish the other half later tonight c:  
> first half: everyones just being theirselves and getting ready for tonight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry  
> PLEASE DONT BE AFRAID TO REMIND ME TO UODATE EVERY COUPLE WEEKS  
> I GET FORGETFUL OR LAZY AND IM SORRY

**spoopy spacefam (10:47 am)**

 

**blueboi:** Sup fuckers

**techgremlin:** its too early for your shit lance

**blueboi:** but im awake too earlyyyyyyyy

**spaceprincess:** yeah sounds like a you problem

**blueboi:** keef? 

**keef:** sorry babe, sleep bc work

**blueboi:** well thats your fault for staying up till 5 am killing bugs with your mom

**keef:** shhhhh

**unarmed+dangerous:** Im sorry you did what keith?

**ratthew:** ahahahah keefy boy is in trouble

**keef:** ill skin you

**ratthew:** AND I OOP

**techgremlin:** GO CRAZY GO STUPID

**datom:** PIDGE DO NOT ENCOURAGE THIS

**sunshinebro:** its too ealry for your guys’ shit

**blueboi:** gaSP

**spaceprincess:** you guys made hunk cuss before noon

**unarmed+dangerous:** monsTeRS

**keef:** shhhh 

**blueboi:** ugh fine! Ill get my stuff ready for tonight then

**spaceprincess:** you do that lance, ill get stuff organized at a decent time

**blueboi:** hmmph

**techgremlin:** youre such a drama queen

**blueboi:** thx  ฅ ̳͒•ˑ̫• ̳͒ฅ

 

**PROTECT KEEF (10:58 am)**

 

**blueboi:** sooooo

**techgremlin:** lance!

**blueboi:** i just wanna change something real quick

**unarmed+dangerous:** ughghhhhghhhhh

**ratthew:** binch 

 

**blueboi has changed PROTECT KEEF to KEEFS BIRTHDAY SQUAD**

 

**blueboi:** my favorite emo scrub baby is turning 19 and he needs a best friend party to know hes loved and appriciated 

**unarmed+dangerous:** Adam...our son

**datom:** he grow

**unarmed+dangerous:** hold up

 

**Unarmed+dangerous has added krayola and corn to KEEFS BIRTHDAY SQUAD**

 

**unarmed+dangerous:** Hey guys 

**datom:** this is a chat about planning keefy boys birthday party

**blueboi:** but itll be a small one bc he hates big parties an doesnt like when people touch his personal birthday cake 

**techgremlin:** omg i remember when james got to his cake a couple years ago, thinking it was for everyone

**spaceprincess** holy shit keith went off

**sunshinebro:** was that the party that he almost gave james a black eye, or the one where he tied james’ shoes to axcas bike?

**blueboi:** wow i love my man

**ratthew:** hes a true hero 

**krayola:** its way too early for this

**blueboi:** wow you are just like keith

**unarmed+dangerous:** but is it too early to talk about your son?

**krayola:** (☞ﾟ∀ﾟ)☞ you got me there

**datom:** remember when you guys would be concerned about something like this 

**techgremlin:** whatcha mean? 

**unarmed+dangerous:** you would all be concerned about his anger at some point that it was hilarious that he’d come home and ask us if he was weird bc you all thought he was too angry

**blueboi:** eh we eventually figured out hes the sweet gooey caramel in a candy bar and that all he needed was stable friends and a few hugs

**sunshinebro:** also we really shouldve never invited james to those parties

**blueboi:** seconded

**blueboi:** well anyways

**blueboi:** what are we doing for his birthday

**spaceprincess:** the standard things…

**sunshinebro:** ive got personal cake

**blueboi:** ive got everyone cake

**ratthew:** Allura and i have decoration

**krayola:** um, can i join into that this year

**spaceprincess:** course!

**unarmed+dangerous:** so krolia, matt, and allura on decoration, hunk on “too sweet to consume” choco cake, lance on everyone cake…

**ratthew:** pidge..?

**techgremlin:** OH sorry

**techgremlin:** closed my eyes for a minute

**techgremlin:** i got music and lights

**shaynaminroll:** ive got snacks and food setup goodnight 

**sunshinebro:** ill help with that after the cake

**shaynaminroll:** rad

**unarmed+dangerous:** ill keep him busy all day with adam

**datom:** we’re taking him to get a tattoo

**blueboi:** ԅ[ •́ ﹏ •̀ ]و

**sunshinebro:** aaaand youve broken lance

**krayola:** whats it of

**unarmed+dangerous:** were gunna let him decide but if he cant pick and lets us pick for him, we were gunna make him get a moth 

**techgremlin:** omg pls

**blueboi:** his love for mothman

**krayola:** Oh no, he hates moths

**unarmed+dangerous:** But he loves mothman

**sunshinebro:** so he tolerates them

**blueboi:** A complex man after my heart

**techgremlin:** gross 

**unarmed+dangerous:** coran?

**corn:** Dont worry a bit! Ive got a fantastic birthday game for everyone this year!

**spaceprincess:** GREAT!

**datom:** everythings planned out

**techgremlin** Good...now im going back to sleep 

**blueboi:** sorry

**techgremlin** Itll be fine once i sleep

**unarmed+dangerous:** ye yeet

**ratthew:** i- 

 

**spoopy spacefam (12:43 pm)**

 

**keef:** im awake and i dont want to be

**unarmed+dangerous:** Keith you have work in an hour

**keef:** thx i had no idea

**datom:** sigh

**blueboi:** morning sweetie!

**keef:** youre way too happy this morning but morning to you too lance

**blueboi:** keith you only work 4 hours today right?

**keef:** ye

**blueboi:** cool cool

**keef:** why? 

**blueboi:** so i can see you before i go to luras 

**keef:** oh, alright

**techgremlin:** im awake, im dying, and im ready to test some crazy shit

**unarmed+dangerous:** is that why you asked if i was free today

**techgremlin:** YUP

**ratthew:** What are you testing

**sunshinebro:** and where are you testing it

**datom:** bc the last time you tested something on shiro, you almost gave him permanent nerve damage in his only good arm

**unarmed+dangerous:** its my only arm adam

**keef:** pls dont break shiro, he drives me places i dont like driving too

**unarmed+dangerous:** wow, i feel the love keith

**keef:** its why im here

**shaynaminroll:** I HAVE AWOKEN

**sunshinebro:** SHAY!

**blueboi:** hi shay!

**shaynaminroll:** morning everyone

**shaynaminroll:** hey lance, im going to get some calc homework done and then ill start getting ready to go to alluras.

**blueboi:** sweet 

**spaceprincess:** Oh, and lance? 

**blueboi:** ye?

**spaceprincess:** I texted romelle and invited her. I havent seen my cousin in a while so i thought why not

**blueboi:** YES I LOVE ROMELLE

**techgremlin:** she talks so much shit i love it

**keef:** you should here her in class

**keef:** she says things like ‘i bet this dumbass thinks he can use a condom a second time around’ or ‘you sir are an incomprehensible duck fuck and i hope you fail’

**shaynaminroll:** i love her omg

**keef:** she makes class so fucking funny ive gotten sent out for laughing because of her.

**spaceprincess:** christ

**unarmed+dangerous:** i cant even be mad at that. i used to get sent out of class for making dick jokes with matt

**datom:** shit i remember i convinced my whole class that i stashed beans somewhere and that whoever found them got $20

**sunshinebro:** Adam wtf

**blueboi:** did anyone find them

**keef:** were there even any beans?

**datom:** yeah, like four

**datom:** but they all thought i meant a whole can so no one found them

**datom:** i did get sent out though for it bc no one would focus

**techgremlin:** Whats the matter….scared of beEEeaAAanNnsss?

**blueboi:** of course you have to meme it up

**ratthew:** duh 

**spaceprincess:** well back to romelle

**sunshinebro:** we love a role model

**shaynaminroll:** agreed

**blueboi:** the best thing about her is that she has such a sweet voice and when she says these things its 10x funnier

**keef:** savage 

**keef:** Well, off to work i go

**blueboi:** dont hurt your wrist anymore than it is 

**keef:** mhmm

**blueboi:** I mean it

**keef:** alrightttttttttt

**keef:** shiro im taking my bike, its nice out

**unarmed+dangerous:** kk, adama and i are going to alluras with matt to finish this astronomy thing

**techgremlin:** im sorry shiro who?

**unarmed+dangerous:** what?

**blueboi:** Adama

**spaceprincess:** ADAMA

**datom:** OMG 

**datom:** shiro noooo

**keef:** adama, good sir

**datom:** ill ground you

**keef:** Over and out!

**ratthew:** heh adama

**unarmed+dangerous:** you children are awful

**shaynaminroll:** What constellation did you guys end up picking anyway?

**spaceprincess:** draco 

**techgremlin:** good ol’ 17-65

**sunshinebro:** what?

**blueboi:** thats the coordinates of draco

**ratthew:** Thank you lance

**spaceprincess:** nice lance!

**blueboi:** fanks (◠ω◠✿)

**unarmed+dangerous:** allura! You awake enough for us?

**spaceprincess:** yeah yeah come over

**datom:** kk, matt well be over to get you in a bit

**ratthew:** Pidge, youre coming with

**techgremlin:** DUDE I HAVE NO PANTS ON

**blueboi:** hot lol

**techgremlin:** lance ill haunt your ass

**blueboi:** even hotter

**shaynaminroll:** why bring pidgey

**techgremlin:** yeah? Why bring me?

**ratthew:** so you can experiment on shiro with supervision and more than one person who can call 911 and use a fire extinguisher

**techgremlin:** fair

**unarmed+dangerous:** Im sorrry….fair?

**unarmed+dangerous:** you actually might need a fire extinguisher?

**techgremlin:** if shiro moves too much yeah

**unarmed+dangerous:** holy shit im gunna die

**techgremlin:** Oh hus youll be fine

**techgremlin:** allura, how well ventilated is the area

**spaceprincess:** Jeez mccheese itll be pretty well ventilated now now wont it

**techgremlin:** great thinking

**unarmed+dangerous:** if i die, adam dont let keith take my leather jacket

**keef:** I heard i could take your leather jacket?

**unarmed+dangerous:** KWITH NO AND Y R U TEXTING ON YOUR BIKE

**keef:** bc im sitting in the parking lot at work and eating fries

**unarmed+dangerous:** oh

**keef:** so

**unarmed+dangerous:** No leather jacket

**keef:** bitch

**unarmed+dangerous:** language

**keef:** ‘language’

**unarmed+dangerous:** keith youre fucking almost 19 dont make me ground you from lance

**blueboi:** KEITH DONT MAKE HIM GROUND YOU FROM ME

**keef:** only bc youre cute ill be nice to shiro

**unarmed+dangerous:** wow not like im your legal guardian or anything

**keef:** eh 

**keef:** youre like that friend parent. Adams more like a dad parent, but the cool kind

**datom:** SHIRO

**datom:** HE CALLED ME COOL

**unarmed+dangerous:** great keith look what youve done

**unarmed+dangerous:** he thinks hes cool now and hes gunna put the glasses on

**shaynaminroll:** What ones

**spaceprincess:** oh boy i love those glasses

**sunshinebro:** PUT THEM ON

**spaceprincess:** PUT THEM ON

**techgremlin:** GLASSES

**keef:** GLASSES

**datom:** [image-of-adam-with-his-cat-eye-shaped-sunglasses-and-holding-up-a-peace-sign-jpg]

**datom:** oh stop shiro, you know you love me

**unarmed+dangerous:** unfortunately 

**datom:** hush

**keef:** time to go inside of my shitty job

**blueboi:** but the money

**keef:** but the money

**blueboi:** Bye babe!

**keef:** bye lance <3

**blueboi:** he-

**unarmed+dangerous:** signing off to drive

**ratthew:** Bye shito

**techgremlin:** SHITO JESUS CHRIST THATS GOLD

**sunshinebro:** SHITO SHIRO

**shaynaminroll:** HOLY SHIT

**spaceprincess:** i think you mean holy shito

**spaceprincess:** MATT THATS PERFECT

**ratthew:** IT WAS ON ACCIDENT BUT I AGREE

**keef:** great 

**datom:** the great shito

**unarmed+dangerous:** Im crashing this car

**techgremlin:** NOT BEFORE IM IN IT YOURE NOT

**ratthew:** WHA-

**unarmed+dangerous:** nevermind, matt, pidge, be ready well be there in 10

**ratthew:** kk

**techgremlin:** copy that

**unarmed+dangerous:** Allura, well be there in 20

**spaceprincess:** sweet

**blueboi:** hunk wanna go somehwere with me?

**sunshinebro:** sure….?

**blueboi:** Itll be fun

**sunshinebro:** for who

**blueboi:** me mostly, but ill take you to the new ice cream place

**sunshinebro:** deal

**shaynaminroll:** and here i am stuck doing my calc

**sunshinebro:** Love you shayshay!

**shaynaminroll:** Love you too Hunk

**techgremlin:** love digusts me

**blueboi:** oh go get pants on you little gremlin

**techgremlin:** Lance ill fill your bed with beatles

**blueboi:** yeET

 

**spoopy spacefam (3:58 pm)**

 

**sunshinebro:** OHOHhohohHoHOhohOOOO

**sunshinebro:** LANCE

**sunshinebro:** YALL HE DID

**sunshinebro:** HOYL SHIT

**techgremlin:** holy shito?

**unarmed+dangerous:** Stop that

**spaceprincess:** what did lance do

**sunshinebro:** youll see tonight omg

**blueboi:** is it okay hunk?

**sunshinebro:** ITS GREAT OMG

**sunshinebro:** yallllllll

**sunshinebro:** keith, you will be stunned

**keef:** DAMN I HAVE SOMEWHERE TO GO AFTER WORK BUT ILL DEF BE ABLE TO COME SEE YOU BEFORE 8 LANCE

**blueboi:** EEEEEEEEE

**techgremlin:** why is hunk this excited 

**sunshinebro:** bc if you knew what lance just did youd be happy too!

**blueboi:** it’s not that much to hype about buddy

**sunshinebro:** you quiet yes it is!

 

**spoopy spacefam(7:15pm)**

 

**keef:** holy fucking shit

**blueboi:** holy fucking shit

**blueboi** keith fucking shaved his hair

**keef:** laNCE FUCKIN DHAVED HIS

**unarmed+dangerous:** YALL DID WHAT

**unarmed+dangerous:** KEITH DID WHAT

**keef:** lance got an undercut and i’m really tempted to keep him from allura just to stare at how gorgeous he is

**blueboi:** keith got a fucking undercut too and oh wow i’m blessed

**spaceprincess** : you two are fucking kidding

**keef** : were not omg

**sunshinebro** : lance isnt at least, but i went home a little bit ago before keith came over so i didnt get to see him

**techgremlin** :  could you guys get any gayer omg

**keef** : allura can i keep him?

**spaceprincess** : no, we have a long night of facials and a runway show i worked my ass off for

**shaynaminroll** : r-runway?

**unarmed+dangerous:** mhmmm

**datom:** Its true

**ratthew:** we saw it when we were all over there 

**datom:** we actually just left 

**shaynaminroll** : Howd it go

**spaceprincess** : The project is finished at least

**sunshinebro:** howd pidges tests go?

**datom:** shiros not dead

**sunshinebro:** but?

**spaceprincess** : but he is kinda out of it

**keef:** what'd they wanna test anyway?

**datom:** welllllll

**techgremlin:** I wanted to see how chemical and weapon proof i could make shiros arm with things a normal person could get their hands on. Last testing i did was weapons...this one was chemicals

**ratthew:** they brought chlorine over, along with 17 other elements and a homemade flamethrower

**ratthew:** IN GAS FORM

**ratthew:** AND THEN PROCEEDED TO SAY FUCK IT AFTER SHIRO ALMOST OPENED IT AND DECIDED TO ACTUALLY MAKE SALT WITH THE SODIUMTHEY ALSO HAD

**blueboi:** I-

**datom:** Im gunna get shiro to bed but wow

**techgremlin:** At least now we know shiros arm is now resistant to 18 elements

**spaceprincess** : pidge

**sunshinebro:** when is he ever going to need to be resistant to pure sodium?

**datom:** and why tf would you rub a block of sodium on his arm and stick it in water?

**techgremlin:** To test the reactivity on the surface of his arm

**techgremlin:** at least it wasnt attatched to him when everything almost blew up and caught fire

**ratthew:** and hey, he left with some sweet touch ups

**datom:** hes got blinky lights now to calm him down during the bad ptsd moments and if that doesnt work, pidge threw in a small screen for shiro to have a slideshow to look through

**keef:** Well thats sweet

**techgremlin:** i guess 

**datom:** thx pidge

**datom:** plus now shiros got this

**datom:** [image-of-sleeping-shiro-with-sheep-hologram-on-his-arm-jpg]

**datom:** He fell asleep instantly

**shaynaminroll** : awwwww

**spaceprincess** : while all this is very sweet

**spaceprincess** : lance …

**blueboi:** ye?

**shaynaminroll** : LEAVE

**shaynaminroll** : LANCE HURRY UP

**spaceprincess** : KEITH LET HIM LEAVE

**keef:** b-but 

**spaceprincess:** now

**keef :** (ﾉ*ﾟｰﾟ)ﾉ alluras attitude

**keef:** \ alluras attitude /  ヽ(ﾟｰﾟ*ヽ)

**keef:** oops 

**keef:** in the trash it went

**blueboi:** omg 

**spaceprincess** : keith were stealing him and thats final

**blueboi:** you can drop me off at hers on your bike okay?

**keef:** fine. but i’m obnoxiously kissing you on her porch

**spaceprincess:** idc what you do, just get him here

**blueboi:** two gays with freshly cut hair on their way

**keef:** yall bout to be blown away by his beauty

**blueboi:** HE-

**techgremlin:** my poor eyes

**sunshinebro:** shay, have fun!

**shaynaminroll:** thx sweetie, <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so originally, i was gunna have allura and lotor be a thing bc i wanted lotor to have a redemption in the show and for lotura to be a happy ship but i decided that (for now at least) she'll be with matt for a while. and theres also romelle that alot of people ship with allura and while i do like that ship, my forst thought when she was introduced was that theyre cousins and it just kinda stuck. but like, i just wanted to let yall know why alluras with matt.  
> ALSO, UNDERCUT KEITH WON AND WOW IM SO HAPPY IT DID BC YEEEEEEEEE (if you dont know what an undercut is, just google keith/lance undercut)
> 
> also, also, i applied for college again. online this time...but i have yet to pick classes yeet
> 
> uhhh, tell me your favorite place to get ice cream?? mine is from this place we have called Culvers and their custard/ice cream is THE pinnicle of oof


	12. Chapter 11 (part 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> leggy lance is here binches   
> the sleepover squad has so fun and pidge is a little shit  
> matt, hunk, and keith all get wowed by their partners 👏🏽💕
> 
> (decided to cut out the dashes for the images bc they’re had to keep up with)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sup

**spoopy spacefam (8:12 pm)**

 

**blueboi:** BITCHES IVE ARRIVED AND NOW THE PARTY CAN START

**spaceprincess:** first of all

**spaceprincess:** i’m the star of this party

**shaynaminroll:** second of all

**shaynaminroll:** keith and lance have both left me fucking speechless with their haircuts wow

**sunshinebro:** ikr! 

**datom:** keith sent me a picture of them both and I can agree

**blueboi:** obviously keith looks good. he’s keith 

**keef:** hush up, you look great too

**blueboi:** okay but you legit had your hair up in a bun and looked like a damn model soooo

**sunshinebro:** oh guys cmon we ain’t doing this

**keef:** well you had yours pinned back and looked gorgeous 

**techgremlin:** you two are not gunna sit here and competitively compliment each other while I have to watch

**blueboi:** weenie

**techgremlin:** cockroach 

**ratthew:** pIDGE

**techgremlin:** well

**spaceprincess:** anyway, they both look absolutely stunning and I think it was a good hair choice for both of them

**blueboi:** thx lura

**keef:** thanks allura

**unarmed+dangerous:** I am awakish 

**unarmed+dangerous:** keith, you look nice. I like it

**keef:** thank you shiro. I brought you and adam some mcdonald’s btw

**keef:** hurry up before it getsssssssssszszzszzsssssndn

**ratthew:** uhhh, keith?

**techgremlin:** you good?

**keef:** thEY FUCKING

**shaynaminroll:** who

**keef:** YOU ANIMALS

**blueboi:** what is happening 

**keef:** THEY TRAMPLED DOWN THE FUCKING STAIRS AND JUMPED ON ME FOR THE DAMN MCDONALDS 

**datom:** sweet, hashbrowns 

**unarmed+dangerous:** and an iced caramel latte

**unarmed+dangerous:** thx keith

**keef:** YALL

**techgremlin:** ahHhHahHahahAAHAH

**ratthew:** I swear, last time I gave them mcdonald’s I almost lost my had

**keef:** well thank god mine is in the other bag bc holy shito 

**unarmed+dangerous:** i’ll steal your nuggets keith watch your mouth

**keef:** eat your mcchicken and shush

**spaceprincess:** woooooooow

**datom:** well anyway 

**unarmed+dangerous:** thx for the upgrades pidge

**unarmed+dangerous:** I like the lights

**techgremlin:** yw 

**techgremlin:** I made you suffer enough testing for one day 

**techgremlin:** next round is waterproofing 

**unarmed+dangerous:** that I can get behind

**ratthew;** you know how many times he’s almost electrocuted himself bc he forgot to take his arm off to shower? 

**datom:** one time he did and I swear keith almost pissed himself laughing

**unarmed+dangerous:** THAT WAS ONE TIME SHUT UP AND EAT YOHR HASHBROWNS

**blueboi:** oohihooooooh defensive

**unarmed+dangerous:** hush pretty boy

**blueboi:** （╹◡╹）

**shaynaminroll:** soooooo

**spaceprincess:** [image-of-lance-romelle-and-shay-with-facemasks-on-and-sticking-their-tongue-out-jpg]

**sunshinebro:** shay shay you’re so cute!

**shaynaminroll:** thx hunk

**sunshinebro:** looks like fun

**spaceprincess:** after this, romelle and shay are getting manicures bc for some reason, lance has perfect nails and mine are already done 

**blueboi:** and then a bit of makeup and hair

**blueboi:** and then our little runway

**shaynaminroll:** and finally, sleeping

**blueboi:** gAHHHH I LOVE THIS

**blueboi:** I NEVER GET TO DO THIS

**datom:** well i’m glad you’re all having fun

**shaynaminroll** thx thx we are!

**spaceprincess:** oh! 

**spaceprincess:** idea!

**techgremlin:** what?

 

**shaynaminroll just added rorourboat to spoopy spacefam**

 

**unarmed+dangerous:** welcome to the space family

**rorourboat:** hi everyone 

**sunshinebro:** hey roro

**rorourboat:** hi hunk

**datom:** hey romelle, how are you- from me and shiro

**rorourboat:** i’m doing great, thx for asking

**keef:** sup bitch

**unarmed+dangerous:** kEITH

**rorourboat:** nothing much, sup with you shortstack

**keef:** same here. 

**spaceprincess:** roro!

**ratthew:** are you two always like this

**blueboi:** yes

**techgremlin:** they are

**blueboi:** it’s creepy sometimes how straightfaced they can be when calling each other dumb whale cunts or something like that

**rorourboat:** a talent really

**keef:** honestly 

**shaynaminroll:** well, I can’t wait for the spam of pictures later

**blueboi:** prepare yourself for the beauty that is the Shalluroance Sleepover 

**ratthew:** who

**techgremlin:** who took the time

**blueboi:** …

**sunshinebro:** lance did you do that

**blueboi:** sure did

**spaceprincess:** y’know what, i’m actually kind of proud of that name tbh

**rorourboat:** honestly same

**shaynaminroll:** nice! 

**ratthew:** not as good as shito tho

**keef:** u right

**techgremlin:** forever gold

**unarmed+dangerous:** ugh 

**unarmed+dangerous:** dads tired

**unarmed+dangerous:** you all tire me

**unarmed+dangerous:** *wiggles toes sleepily*  **unarmed+dangerous:** night kids

**blueboi:** what

**techgremlin:** what the fuck

**ratthew:** shi-

**spaceprincess:** shiro you good

**datom:** u know what, we’re probably gunna tap out early tonight. we both work at 6 am

**datom:** but we’ll definitely look through all the pictures 

**datom:** night guys!

**keef:** night legal guardians

**sunshinebro:** night dads

**rorourboat:** Lura do you have any animal crackers?

**techgremlin:** romelle are you 5

**rorourboat:** pidge are you a rat

**techgremlin:** touché 

**rorourboat:** das right

**spaceprincess:** fr tho, yeah I have animal crackers they’re in the third cabinet from the stove

**rorourboat:** Y E S

**blueboi:** BRING ME BACK SOME FRUIT SNACKS 

**shaynaminroll:** guys we made food

**blueboi:** but I want fruit snacks rn (￣^￣)

**keef:** give my mans his fruit snacks 

**rorourboat:** hush little texan boy you’re not even here

**keef:** bc I hate everything you’re doing rn

**techgremlin:** they’re breathing rn keith 

**keef:** my point still stands 

**ratthew:** (●´ω｀●)

**sunshinebro:** keith

**blueboi:** baaaaaaaabe noooo

**shaynaminroll:** ALRIGHT GANG TIME FOR THE HAIR PORTION OF THE NIGHT

**ratthew:** I see we are no longer needed

**sunshinebro:** well pop in every now and then bc we don’t actually sleep but we’ll definitely probably be awake for the pictures 

**ratthew:** ye yeeee

**spaceprincess:** kk, we’ll be sure to send a bunch

**techgremlin:** this pigeon has got to fly

**blueboi:** bye gremlin child

**techgremlin:** *pulls out power drill* you want your teeth still lance?

**blueboi:** uhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

**keef:** pidGE WTF 

**techgremlin:** idk what you’re talking about 

**ratthew:** lance go hide

**rorourboat:** lance legit just went to go under all the blankets 

**spaceprincess:** he’s muttering 

**techgremlin:** what’s he saying

**shaynaminroll:** is he-

**shaynaminroll:** he’s fuvking praying

**rorourboat:** I think

**keef:** he’s speaking rapid quiet spanish isn’t he

**shaynaminroll:** HE JUST SAID DEMON IN SPANISH (≧∀≦)

**keef:** pidge you broke my boy

**techgremlin:** i’ll get you a new one

**keef:** I like this one tho 

**blueboi:** i’m fine

**blueboi:** i’ll just stay under the covers for a while

**ratthew:** y

**blueboi:** if the demon can’t see you it can’t kill you

**sunshinebro:** solid 4-7 yr old logic

**blueboi:** thanks. it’s worked so far

**spaceprincess:** lance omg 

**keef:** just go get your makeup done

**blueboi:** no

**ratthew:** pidge won’t hurt you

**blueboi:** mentiras!

**rorourboat:** hmmmmm googling 

**shaynaminroll:** he said were lying

**ratthew:** wha-

**shaynaminroll:** dude i’m half hispanic

**ratthew:** you right, I forgot

**sunshinebro:** how could anyone for a fact about THE most precious girl

**keef:** pidge apologize for scaring my boyfriend 

**techgremlin:** yuck y

**ratthew:** bc if not i’ll take back the binder that’s conveniently unopened and in my room rn

**techgremlin:** IM SORRY LANCE I WONG HURT YOU

**techgremlin:** NOW GIVE ME MY BINDER I WANNA SEE THE PRETTY GREEN

**blueboi:** it’ll suffice 

**blueboi:** thx matt

**ratthew:** yee

**blueboi:** thx keefy 

**keef:** <3

**blueboi** : well, time to get ready to show off the leggyyyyyyy

**shaynaminroll:** LEGGY LANCE

**blueboi:** TALK IN A BIT

**spaceprincess:** LETS GET THIS BREADD

 

**spoopy spacefam (10:57 pm)**

 

**rorourboat:** OKAY OKAY

**rorourboat:** ALLURA FIRST

**rorourboat:** [image-allura with a light grey sweater tucked into pastel pink skirt and pink suede lace up sandals jpg]

**datom:** ALLURA YES

**ratthew:** THATS MY GIRLFRIEND THATS MY GIRLFRIEND

**unarmed+dangerous:** Looking pretty good lura

**sunshinebro:** definitely an allura type outfit 

**keef:** like it 

**rorourboat:** [image allura posing with one hand on her hip and the other in her hair jpg]

**blueboi:** there’s the pose 

**spaceprincess:** TIME FOR SHAY

**sunshinebro:** I can already feel my heart about to explode 

**spaceprincess:** [image shay with black crop top that cross crosses toward the top with a black blazer and black leggings jpg] 

**sunshinebro:** w o w

**techgremlin:** she really

**sunshinebro:** she-

**keef:** shay, a queen 

**spaceprincess:** [image shay falling over trying to put red heels on jpg]

**techgremlin:** shAY KILL IT

**spaceprincess:** [image shay using lance’s head to balance jpg]

**blueboi:** SHE PULLED MY HAIR AS SHE FELL

**shaynaminroll:** HUSH YOH BABY

**blueboi:** ROMELLES TURN

**blueboi:** [image romelle in all white jumpsuit romper white a light blue cardigan jpg]

**keef:** eh I guess you look good

**rorourboat:** little emo bitch

**techgremlin:** ahahahaHahHaha

**blueboi:** [image romelle in same outfit with sunglasses floppy hat with light pink and blue trim and black low top converse jpg]

**ratthew:** you’re killin it in those glasses roro

**unarmed+dangerous:** HAT 

**techgremlin:** FLOPPY HAT

**blueboi:** [image romelle flipping everyone off with her tongue out jpg]

**datom:** THERE SHE IS ahAhHah

**shaynaminroll:** LANCEYS UP

**techgremlin:** oh boy

**blueboi:** LEGGYYYY

**shaynaminroll:** [image lance in an army green button up with sleeves rolled to elbow tucked into a black skater skirt with small belt and black combat boots jpg]

**keef:** woah

**ratthew:** THE LEGS

**blueboi:** I TOLD YOU 

**sunshinebro:** LANCE WTF HOW

**shaynaminroll:** but since lance is a huge drama queen, he got a second outfit 

**rorourboat:** just for keith

**blueboi:** SHUT UO

**shaynaminroll:** [image lance shirtless with head back laughing as romelle shoves a cupcake in her mouth jpg]

**keef:** W He E Ze

**techgremlin:** roro wtf

**shaynaminroll:** [image lance in black t-shirt and red plaid flannel with ripped black jeans and combat boots jpg]

**keef:** i’m stealing him

**spaceprincess:** noooioooo he’s staying the night

**unarmed+dangerous:** keith-

 

**keef >blueboi ( 11:22 pm)**

 

**keef:** i’m stealing you

**blueboi:** oh hush

**keef:** you’re perfect I swear

**blueboi:** I-

**blueboi:** keith stahppppp

**keef:** nope

**keef:** the water to my crops

**blueboi:** keeeiiithhhh

**keef:** the dagger through my heart

**blueboi:** omg-

**blueboi:** [image lance in flannel making a heart with his hands and a big smile with his eyes closed jpg]

**keef:** i-

 

**spoopy spacefam (11:28 pm)**

 

**spaceprincess:** there’s more 

**shaynaminroll:** [image closeup of allura and lance with heavy eyeliner and dark makeup jpg]

**unarmed+dangerous:** APPROVED

**spaceprincess:** THX FOR THE EYELINER SHIRO

**spaceprincess:** [image lance in skirt dipping romelle and allura laughing with shay as they take the group selfie jpg]

**shaynaminroll:** he dropped her after this

**blueboi:** she burped so I laughed and I dropped her i’m  **blueboi:** sorRRY

**techgremlin:** you gUYS

**rorourboat:** [image shay and lance blowing a kiss to their mans jpg]

**sunshinebro:** keith

**keef:** hunk

**sunshinebro:** we gots lucky

**keef:** sure did

**shaynaminroll:** [image allura winking and lance doing finger guns jpg]

**ratthew:** my little nerd heart

**keef:** my gay heart

**datom:** omfg you guys

**spaceprincess:** well that’s a rap!

**unarmed+dangerous:** nighty night!

**spaceprincess:** oh, and one for pidge bc they didn’t think I could pull off their look

**blueboi:** [image allura in men’s khaki cargo shorts and a green and orange hoodie with pidge like glasses on and grey high tops jpg]

**ratthew:** gunna be honest allura, you have crushed my soul

**techgremlin:** matt

**techgremlin:** I applaud you

**techgremlin:** for achieving a woman that great

**ratthew:** allura, _:(´ཀ`」 ∠):

**techgremlin:** ٩( ᐛ )و

 

**spoopy spacefam (3:45 am)**

**blueboi:** why do I hear a drill?¿?

**techgremlin:** ehehehhhwheh

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> question for the fellow gays  
> how do you locate another potential gay bc let me tell you, i legit cannot   
> im over here in flannels and button ups and too big hoodies and combat boots and I can not seem to lure out the others 😂😂
> 
> do you guys have a headcannon real life person who looks like anyone from voltron?


	13. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> oof  
> keith and shay love lance and hunk
> 
> ‘beat me up bitch, beat me up’ (you’ll get it soon 😂)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I  
> AM  
> TRASH  
> BUT  
> TRASH  
> WITH  
> AN  
> ORANGE  
> CANDLE  
> SCENT

**spoopy spacefam (6:41 am)**

 

**ratthew changed his name to orange**

**orange changed ‘blueboi’s’ name to blue**

**orange changed keef’s  name to red**

**orange changed techgremlin’s  name to green**

**orangechanged sunshinebro’s name to yellow**

**orange changed shaynaminroll’s name to emerald**

**orange changed unarmed+dangerous’ name to black**

**orange changed datom’s name to purple**

**orange changed his spaceprincess’ name to pink**

**orange changed rorourboat’s name to aqua**

 

**spoopy spacefam (10:23 am)**

 

**pink:** we have awoken

**green:** who’s we and why tf are you

**pink:** we is me, romelle, clearly you, and matt

**green:** how do you know matt’s up

**pink:** he sent me a good morning text

**green:** brb gagging 

**blue:** hmmmm i’m up

**orange:** lance? 

**blue:** It’s like I got a sixth sense about something 

**green:** wtf

**blue:** hold up lemme read

**pink:** ..

**blue:** AHaHAha

**green:** what?

**blue:** I woke up bc pidge said gagging and wow, I wish I wasn’t this late bc dirty joke material 

**green:** LANCE

**pink:** THATS DISGUSTING 

**orange:** Lance:a good man

**pink:** Matt don’t encourage him

**blue:** Matt encourage me

**orange:** s o n

**blue:** d a d d y

**green:** that’s enough

**green:** MATT STOP CACKLING FROM YOUR ROOM

**orange:** how is Shay still sleeping 

**pink:** bc romelle is currently laying by her and shay is using her as warmth

**blue:** [image romelle waving and smiling from underneath blankets covering her and shay jpg]

**yellow:** she

**yellow:** S

**yellow:** H

**yellow:** E

**pink:** hunk?

**yellow:** shay is just so precious 

**yellow:** I never get to see her sleeping

**blue:** dude you’re at her house all the time

**yellow:** yeah but rax is always basically babysitting and if shay even yawns, I have to go

**orange:** my man

**blue:** you are a good man

**blue:** I LOVE MY BEST FRIEND 

**yellow:** at ease lance

**blue:** ur right 

**blue:** got carried away

**green:** enjoy sleeping shay

**blue:** she is quite adorable 

**red:** mMmmM

**blue:** keith!

**black:** mornin

**pink:** shiro!

**black:** who said at ease

**red:** who did lance call pretty

**pink:** OMG

**green:** YALL

**orange:** shiro you deadass woke up over at ease

**black:** I felt it

**blue:** uhh

**blue:** you feLT HUNK SAY AT EASE IN A GROUP CHAT

**green:** YOU WOKE UP OVER A MISSED BLIWJOB JOKE

**red:** IM TIRED WHO DID LANCE SAY WAS PRETTY

**pink** oh keef

**blue:** hey baby. scroll up, shays the pretty one

**red:** oh

**red:** makes sense

**orange:** keith ur feckin whipped 

**red:** i want my lance today 

**blue:** whEEzE 

**yellow:** your lance?

**red:** mmm

**red:** he’s soft

**red:** i like him

**green:** WHAT HAPPENED TO MY CRYPTIC BRO

**red:** he’s sleep

**black:** guys keith’s legit falling in and out of sleep 

**pink:** sorry, i’m back. I was making french toast

**green:** FOOD

**pink:** down pidge

**orange:** we have food at home

**green:** bitch

**orange:** whore

**green:** rat

**orange:** insect

**green:** geek

**orange:** nerd

**blue:** tf

**yellow:** shhh I wanna see who wins

**green:** nah we’re done

**orange:** ill make you some cereal pidgey 

**green:** kk

**green:** … lucky charms?

**orange:** duh

**pink:** thicc

**red:** WHERE IS LANCE 

**blue:** hi keef

**blue:** i’m eating

**blue:** ALLURA NI

**pink:** [image messy haired lance with french toast hanging out mouth and syrup all over his face as he responds to chat]

**pink:** ENJOY

**red:** my boy

**red:** I like him

**black:** keith, go back to sleep 

**red:** shhhhjj khh 

**blue:** my heart

**blue:** ill come over today with some hashbrowns but get some sleep

**yellow:** AW

**green:** gross

**pink:** Y’all cute

**blue:** yes

**blue:** night

**black:** he responded with a happy whole body wiggle and fell asleep 

**orange:** omg this boy

**green:** i gotta take keith cryptid watching

**green:** he’s needs to go outside

**yellow:** just say you miss him

**green:** I don’t understand that feeling 

**pink:** pidge you have emotions 

**green:** I will not be weak

**blue:** pidge loves us

**pink:** we know.

**green:** ick 

**yellow:** well since i’m dressed and i’m making breakfast 

**blue:** that’s where you’ve been

**yellow:** yes

**yellow:** but as I was saying...I tripped over my book bag and realized something 

**green:** hmm

**yellow:** none of us started tgat partner assignment

**black:** kids!

**blue:** dad!

**blue:** it’s fine we have a week

**yellow:** lance we had a week a week ago it’s due tuesday 

**green:** fuck

**purple:** SWEAR WIRD

**pink:** ADAM HOW

**purple:** MY CHILDREN WERE USING BAD LANGUAGE SO I WAS AWOKEN 

**pink:** christ

**orange:** well

**yellow:** pidge i’m coming over today

**blue** same

**green:** guysssss

**blue:** pls

**green:** but mom

**yellow:** your mom is cool

**green:** she gets way too happy when I bring u guys over

**orange:** this is true can confirm 

**orange:** she gets even happier when pidge brings shay or allura or romelle over

**aqua:** I have escaped [gentley] from shays arms for breakfast and I can agree colleen loves us

**black:** why tho

**orange:** she likes that pidge has good friends and believe it or not, pidge actually smiles when you come over

**aqua:** that’s-

**green:** MATT

**orange:** pidge 

**blue:** we love you too pidgey!

**green:** ugh

**green:** y’all sicken me

**black:** oh hush kid 

**purple:** keith loves you too btw

**green:** boy better 

**black:** pidge was his first friend 

**pink:** I remember those days omg 

**orange:** you both tripped me down the steps

**green:** he was my only friend

**orange:** don’t mean shit

**black:** you two were assholes together 

**purple:** keith used to share his battle plane and his toy swords with pidge

**blue:** w o w

**yellow:** that’s true friendship 

**aqua:** what did pidge share with keith

**blue:** YES I WANN knOW HOW REAL THIS WAS

**pink:** same same same

**orange:** well when pidge was little, they were extremely smart so after these two hit 7and 11ish, ( around the time that shiro and adam were getting ready to adopt keith so he was around them all the time) pidge had a ds and a green stuffed lion and they played with the ds and cuddled the lion all damn day

**pink:** I REMEMBER BABY PIDGE DRAGGING THEIR LION AROUBD

**green:** I WAS SEVEN

**blue:** baby pidgeyyyyyy

**green:** ill cut you

**blue:** bet

**yellow:** lance no

**green:** fite 

**blue:** meet me in the dennys parking lot at 5

**green:** B E T

**pink:** christ

**black:** same 

**aqua:** but back to baby pidgey pls?

**orange:** pidge I swear you never left anywhere without it

**orange:** anyways, one day I was hanging with shiro and pidge saw keith hanging around him all shy still so they walked on over, sat keith down, gave him the lion to hold and showed him how to play mario

**blue:** omg

**yellow:** that is legit the cutest thing

**purple:** I have tears

**green:** stOP

**green:** I don’t like showing affection bc y’all make it a big deal.

**pink:** bc it’s rare

**aqua:** and we love you pidge

**green:** *huff*

**blue:** oh don’t be a rat

**orange:** fr tho, mom likes you guys bc for about 5 years, pidge played by themself, then keith for like 3 but keith had to do a lot of court things and to go with shiro and adam everywhere to prove two newly 18 year olds could take care of him so he wasn’t around for a while

**purple:** god I fucking hated tgat shit

**black:** we had an apartment and third shift and first shift jobs anyway

**purple:** I mean, it helped that keith wouldn’t talk to anyone unless we were around

**green:** which I will even admit sucked

**green:** he barely talked to me

**blue:** TGATS WHERE HUNK AND I HOP IN

**pink:** oh god

**blue:** no it’s a good story 

**green:** y’all will like it

**yellow:** YEAH I REMEMBER I WAS DOING MY MATH HOMEWORK AND PIDGE WALKED BY WITH BOWS IN TGEIR MESSY AS HELL HAOR (sorry pidge but it was a mess) AND SAID I WAS WRONG

**green:** que prissy lance

**blue:** SO I DEFEND MY SMART BUDDY

AND PIDGE SIGHED, SAT DOWN, AND SHOWED US BOTH HOW TO DO TGE PROBLEM 

**yellow:** smart pidgey

**yellow:** caps sucks yeet

**pink:** true

**yellow:** too aggressive 

**purple:** uhhhhhh

**aqua:** go on

**yellow:** and to thank them, I said “you can have some of my sandwich, I won’t finish it” and lance offered to fix pidgeys hair bc “you have nice long hair, can I pls fix it. you’ll be an official bro if you let me” and here’s pidge being pidge and said “do you call all girls you meet bro?” and had lance stuttering thinking he offended them before pidge told us it was cool, sat down in front of lance, took my half of sandwich and said “i’m neither, call me whatever you want, you can keep the bows if you want” 

**blue:** FRIENDS 

**aqua:** hold up

**aqua:** is that why lance has a keychain with two glittery orange and green bows on it

**blue:** yep

**pink:** omg i’m gunna cry

**green:** you legit kept them

**blue:** course! 

**blue:** you said I could

**green:** oh

**green:** thx

**pink:** y’all broke pidge

**orange:** they’re happy 

**purple:** you’ve got you some true friends pidge

**green:** I know c:

**black:** gAsP

**yellow:** well then keith hops into school with us and we see pidge with this badass little 13 year old off and on and we thought keith was being mean

**blue:** and we just didn’t get along with him

**green:** correction: lance didn’t get along with him bc he told keith he was pretty and keith told him to fuck off bc he thought lance was making fun of his hair

**blue:** I PANICKED 

**yellow:** so instead of clearing it up, you held a dumb grudge until keith stood up for pidge in an advanced class and we all became friends 

**blue:** hush

**black:** you guys are seriously the sweetest, most disfunctional, confusing, and hilarious group of friends 

**yellow:** I take pride in that

**blue:** same

**green:** ugh

**pink:** then why do colleen and sam like us so much

**orange:** bc you guys were pidges first girl friends and before even tho we were all getting used to calling pidge they, mom wanted them to have girls around too

**aqua:** fair

**green:** plus y’all are pretty and mom thought you’d take me shopping 

**pink:** we did

**green:** for video games

**purple:** HA

**orange:** good friends 

**blue:** I think we have a nice group here

**yellow:** I like it

**green:** we’re fun little shits

**red:** hashbrowns 

**purple:** what

**black:** keith?

**red:** lance

**blue:** gimme like 20 minutes to pack up bc we have to start that project at pidges anyway

**red:** okay

**aqua:** can I come over too

**yellow:** welk yeah, but why?

**aqua:** so keith can bc he’s my partner 

**green:** fair

**aqua:** keith?

**red:** got it

**red:** shiro? 

**purple:** he said take your bike 

**red:** rad

**red:** also, I usually don’t like my younger life story being told, but yeah, love you too pidge

**red:** well go cryptic hunting soon

**green:** bitchin

**blue:** omg guys

**red:** what

**pink:** shay

**yellow:** WHAT ABOUTYSHAY

**pink:** she’s awoken

**yellow:** she?

**blue:** she just-

**aqua:** SHE GOT UP, PATTED LANCE, AND GRABBED A PLATE IF FOOD AND SHES HUMMINH WHILE SHE EATS WITH HER EYES CLOSED

**yellow:** I LOVE

**aqua:** awwwww

**pink:** she moved her phone with her foot and said “love hunk”

**purple:** this day is just so damn precious 

**green:** so is everyone up now?

**blue:** heyheuheuheuh

**blue:** yeah is everyone UP now

**aqua:** lance you gross fuck

**green:** nasty

**blue:** OH COME ON

**red:** …

**red:** come on what 

**blue:** KEEIT

**blue:** MY FAVORITE BOY OMG

**green:** YALL GET READY

**yellow:** fine

**emerald:** rats

**pink:** so the older boys are going to work, shay and I are going out today , and the kiddos are studying

**aqua:** allura i’m no kiddo

**pink:** hush I used to babysit you

**aqua:** rude

**pink:** watch your tone

**aqua:** dude we’re barely related you’re my third cousin

**pink:** we are family

**aqua:** yeah yeah 

**pink:** love ya ro 

**aqua:** does bandor know you love me more and that i’m your favorite cousin

**pink:** I don’t have a favorite cousin

**pink:** but no

**aqua:** WOO

**orange:** alright time to go to work boys 

**black:** I fucking hate retail

**purple:** shiro it’s times like this I miss our old jobs

**black:** adam yoh could’ve stayed lol

**purple:** but you couldn’t and I didn’t wanna suffer lifting everything all alone 

**orange:** well thanks to me we all work together 

**black:** aren’t we all in the back room today

**purple:** yes

**black:** matt you got the coffee?

**orange:** check

**red:** you guys can have coffee at work?

**black:** no

**green:** then-

**orange:** just let it happen

**orange:** what are we watching today?

**black:** wanna watch banana fish?

**purple:** ooooi sounds good

**red:** do you guys do any work 

**orange:** no one works the back room

**pink:** that’s a no then

**red:** I wish

**purple:** keith you’ll find your work hiding place

**blue:** well lance is out of alluras house and walking to mcdonald’s 

**red:** i’ll pick you up from there if you grab me some hashbrowns, 

**blue:** got it 

**aqua:** i’ll hop over when allura leaves

**green:** kk

**yellow:** i’ll head over now 

**green:** alrighty

**green:** time to fuck shit up 

**emerald:** oh boy

 

**spoopy spacefam (3:25 pm)**

 

**black:** fatherly check in?

**pink:** shay and I are at starbucks 

**orange:** cool

**purple:** adam and matt checking in

**black:** you’re right next to me

**orange:** yee?

**black:** kids?

**yellow:** yeah

**green:** yeet

**black:** you all alive

**red:** define alive? 

**black:** breathing

**blue:** ‘still alive but i’m barely breathing’

**green:** burn

**blue:** light me up

**emerald:** christ

**blue:** sorry, names actually lance but I understand the mistake 

**red:** I swear

**aqua:** [image keith holding book above his head as he lays on lances lap jpg]

**green:** [image hunk and lance sitting back to back balancing paper balls in their heads jpg] 

**black:** you guys

**blue:** [image (blurry) pidge sitting on romelles lap as she spins in chair jpg]

**pink:** pidge how are yoh even texting

**green:** talent

**red:** ‘just prayin to a god that I don’t believe in’

**aqua:** ‘CAUSE IVE GOT TIME WHILE SHES GOT FREEDOMM’

**orange :** Y A L L

**green:** fite

**blue:** I TOKD YOU

**blue:** DENNYS

**green:** oh

**red:** that sounds good

**yellow:** study break?

**green:** i’m down

**black:** *dad sigh*

**pink:** you hush y’all not even working

**black:** fair

**orange:** you got me there

**emerald:** we’re going to sit quietly and enjoy our coffees

**black:** wait shay, did you finish your project 

**emerald:** yes

**red:** HOW

**emerald:** bc i’m not a fan of my partner so he did half, I did half, we sent each other our halves and now we’re done

**yellow:** NICE

**emerald:** right!

**blue:** well, if your mom will let me drive, i’ll take us to dennys

**green:** done

**aqua:** sold

**yellow:** mmmmmmm bacon

**blue:** bout to go down pidge

**red:** shits bout to hit the fan

**green:** adios whites 

**green:** I

**green:** I TYPED WHORES

**green:** WHY

**green:** WHY DID WHITES

**emerald:** omg

**yellow:** omfg

**pink:** there’s legit two white people in our group of friends and they’re sibs

**black:** adam put your hand down

**purple:** but

**black:** no adam

**blue:** but what?

**black:** he’s convinced that bc shay is a quarter white, he’s a quarter, keith is like an eighth and lance is almost half, they make up another 

**emerald:** but-

**red:** adam wtf

**yellow:** I mean-

**purple:** isn’t that correct 

**green:** the math is slightly off but it’ll suffice 

**purple:** thicc

**red:** that’s

**black:** that’s not how this works

**pink:** go watch your banana fish

**black:** WE WILL

**green:** lance mom said you can drive

**yellow:** LETS RIDE

**aqua:** food?

**pink:** have you been spinning this whole time

**aqua:** yes

**aqua:** but yes food

**purple:** nice

**blue:** onwards!

 

**spoopy spacefam (5:23 pm)**

 

**red:** [video lance singing beat me up bitch to pidge jpg]

**black:** how have none of you gotten arrested yet

**orange:** pidge

**green:** i’m in pain knowing i’m friends with this 

**yellow:** cmon guys

**yellow:** I want bacon 

**green:** I WANT A HORCHATA SHAKE

**blue:** the cake batter shake is superior 

**green:** YOU TAKE TGAT BACK

**pink:** BOYS AND PIDGE AND ROMELLE

**green:** fine

**aqua:** let’s eat

**blue:** beat me up

**red:** lance

**emerald:** no fights

**blue:** fine

 

**blue > green (5:34pm)**

 

**blue:** beat me up bitch

 

**spoopy spacefam (7:35 pm)**

 

**green:** alrighty 

**blue:** we have a couple hours

**red:** we got this

**orange:** y’all good

**green:** yes

**yellow:** phones off

**aqua:** books out

**pink:** good

**blue:** face down ass up

**black:** l a n c e

**red:** that’s the way 

**black:** what is wrong with you guys

**emerald:** we like to fuck

**yellow:** S H AY

**purple:** THERE SHE IS

**orange:** I APPLAUD 

**aqua:** phones

**pink:** off

**green:** bye dads

**blue:** bye ratthew 

**red:** bye lura and shay

**red:** we’ll see you all in therapy 

**blue:** oof

**orange:** that hit different 

**green:** I-

 

**spoopy spacefam (9:46 pm)**

 

**green:** we home

**blue:** we comfy

**yellow:** well probably get a B-

**aqua:** rad

**black:** you guys concern me

**yellow:** y’know what concerns us?

**purple:** hmm

**emerald:** how keith knows the entireyof Cannibal by kesha 

**red:** a bop

**black:** I knew I raised you right

**purple:** Kesha and Britney are the real queens

**orange:** *gasp* aDam

**green:** how did you raise keith on pop but he’s still our emo edgelord 

**black:** mystery

**aqua:** and speaking of mysteries

**green:** ye?

**aqua:** lance was that you who got up last night to go play in your phone

**blue:** ye

**emerald:** what were you playing 

**blue:** mysticmessenger

**aqua:** OH WHOS ROUTE

**blue:** SAERANS

**orange:** N I C E

**red:** I have no idea

**purple:** it’s a korean otome game

**black:** cool

**yellow:** gibberish 

**red:** basically

**blue:** i’ll explain another day

**purple:** TOME FOR BED

**blue:** YA YEET

**green:** on jah

**orange:** yagga 

**red:** what the actual fuck

**emerald:** night

**pink:** sleep tight

**yellow:** wiggle them toes in fright

**aqua:** chomp

 

**spoopy spacefam (12:47 am)**

 

**orange:** ‘cause when her heart breaks no it don’t break even’

**purple:** ‘evennn’

**black:** ‘nooooooooo’

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i’ve been doing a lot of prepping for college and fixing my car and my internet has been shit so I apologize greatly! ❤️❤️❤️  
> but honestly, did y’all really expect me to be on time???


	14. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they all just so cute I swear

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> uhhhhhhh  
> i’m sorry??

**spoopy spacefam (2:53 pm)**

 

**orange changed corn’s name to gold**

 

**black:** it’s been unusually quiet today

**green:** wtf do you expect

**purple:** uh

**purple:** loudness

**orange:** annoying

**pink:** memes

**gold:** chaos

**black:** gay??

**red:** good point

**pink:** so why are you all quiet 

**gold:** yes even i’m in amazement 

**gold:** my phone hasn’t buzzed from you youngins all morning

**aqua:** hey coran!

**emerald:** and we all had tests

**green:** and those projects to present

**black:** oh!

**orange:** how’d that go

**blue:** ACED IT

**green:** well of course we did, we had me

**yellow:** pidge

**green:** oh fine I guess lance and hunk were good helpers too

**blue:** i’ll take it

**green:** hush you fecking weed

**blue:** EXCUSE ME

**green:** you’re excused

**yellow:** it’s okay lance

**red:** you’re a cute weed

**green:** vomit

**green:** all over

**orange:** I think it’s sweet

**blue:** keef is the sweetest 

**black:** speaking of keef

**pink:** how’d yours and roros project go

**aqua:** A-

**purple:** nice!

**red:** she did all the talking

**yellow:** yeah bc keith got to hold the project and hide behind it

**blue:** ‘got to’

**aqua:** THE BOY BEGGED

**red:** i don’t like talking

**yellow:** I feel you buddy

**red:** hunk, a good

**yellow:** keef, a sweet

**emerald:** lance, we’ve lost them

**yellow:** shayyyyyyyy

**blue:** how will we go on

**red:** oh hush

**orange:** y’all

**emerald:** oh, right

**green:** you wanted to know why were quiet

**blue:** well, lotor is the main reason

**pink:** what’d the soggy chip want today

**blue:** soGgY CHIP

**green:** he kept complaining that lance was texting when he was really just using his magnifier on his phone to read better

**red:** so the teachers got all up in his face and stared us down in class

**yellow:** and because lance couldn’t text, we didn’t feel the need too either

**orange:** ahhfair

**blue:** you guys could’ve texted

**blue:** I would’ve reread and caught up later

**yellow:** nah

**green:** it’s good

**pink:** you keep it pretty funny

**red:** it’s not as fun without you

**black:** I gotta agree with the kiddos

**red:** shiro i’m no kiddo

**purple:** keith you pouted for watermelon yesterday 

**green:** HA!

**orange:** pidge you hush

**green:** matt

**green:** think this through

**orange:** i’m taller than you

**emerald:** matt! 

**purple:** cheap shot

**orange:** it’s true

**pink:** you right tho

**orange:** pidge don’t laugh at keith you hold onto moms sleeves in the store

**aqua:** that

**pink:** that is-

**emerald:** pidgey omg

**black:** that’s the sweetest thing

**green:** matt say goodbye to your fucking kneecaps and your toenails

**pink:** hey I think it’s cute!

**blue:** same

**yellow:** lance that’s only bc you still can’t leave the house without giving every sibling and your parents a hug and a kiss

**blue:** HEY

**yellow:** i’m not making fun of you

**yellow:** just saying that’s why you think pidges actions are adorable

**blue:** i’ll have you kniw affection bonds a family and teaches trust and a comfortable household

**purple:** ….

**black:** …

**black:** keef

**red:** no

**purple:** c’mon kid

**black:** can’t you give adam and I hugs

**yellow:** you don’t?

**emerald:** he doesn’t?

**purple:** only when he wants something or gets so excited he forgets

**pink:** y’all blowing up my phone with the cutest shit omg

**red:** leave me out if this back to pidge

**blue:** I also think pidges actions are adorable bc I think pidge is adorable

**pink:** say what now

**aqua:** what

**blue:** heeheeeee

**yellow:** lance used to have a little crush on pidge remember 

**green:** i still don’t get why

**blue:** you were nice and liked all the stuff I did and you scared the bullies away by saying big words they couldn’t understand and later teaching me those same words

**orange:** well why’d lance stop liking pidge 

**green:** they threw rice in his face and said ‘not a chance, I only love technology’

**red:** PIDGE

**green:** WELL

**blue:** nah it’s cool

**blue:** I think I just admired them

**blue:** BUT I STILL STAND BY THE FACT THEYRE ADORABLE

**emerald:** agreed

**pink:** cute pidge-o

**blue:** but keith is still my #1

**purple:** dawwwww

**orange:** gay

**red:** very 

**purple:** *le wink*

**yellow:** OH!

**black:** yeah?

**green:** so when we all walked into school today, klance were holding hands like usual and everyone did a double take so quick I think 5 kids got whiplash 

**black:** wh-

**pink:** the hair!

**yellow:** yep!

**green:** omg I know the whole school knows keith is gay but wow the thirst some of these girls have

**blue:** he’s the prettiest of course everyone is gunna like him

**aqua:** people keep staring at lance too

**blue:** huh

**red:** you haven’t noticed?

**blue:** no

**green:** well you guys are getting major looks 

**emerald:** all good tho

**blue:** good

**blue:** but idrc 

**blue:** bc I have the bestest boyo

**red:** I disagree...I do

**pink:** SAME

**purple:** ME TOO

**black:** OO OOO ME TOO

**emerald:** SAME HERE 

**green:** uhhhh

**green:** [image-pidge with bag of pretzels on top of head-jpg] i have the bestest snacc 

**orange:** omg

**aqua:** [image-romelle with blue markers-jpg] i has best marker

**red:** what even are we

**aqua:** shit!

**orange:** well rude

**aqua:** no!

**aqua:** lance got caught

**yellow:** oh dear oh gosh

**emerald:** which means

**green:** abort abort

**red:** they know we all talk

**green:** yeeeeeet

**red:** signing off?

**yellow:** bye byajskkfl djdjsklal ssj

**green:** WE LOST HUNK

**purple:** GUYS PUT YOUR OHONES AWAY

**green:** I WILL SURVIVE 

**orange:** PIDGE NO

**black:** OMG YOU CHILDREN

**red:** I wanna see them try and take my phondddddj djkdklllllhdankk

**aqua:** KEEF

**black:** y’all

**purple:** go

**green:** save yourselves 

**orange:** i’ll see you all in therapy 

 

**spoopy spacefam (6:26 pm)**

 

**purple:** well

**aqua:** phones are back

**blue:** yes!

**red:** phones are charging 

**yellow:** yes

**green:** and now we all have extra hw

**yellow:** sad

**pink:** y’all should’ve known

**red:** shirooooo

**black:** no keith i’m not helping you

**red:** adam?

**black:** adam no

**purple:** keith..

**red:** fine

**orange:** guess we signing off early then

**blue:** I guess

**black:** gotta let these kiddos get their work done

**purple:** i’ve gotta make dinner

**orange:** nap time!

**pink:** work time!

**orange:** ew

**green:** I know

**orange:** outtie!

**blue:** adios

**emerald:** bye guys!

 

**spoopy spacefam (11:58 pm)**

 

**blue:** there’s two ducks outside my window 

**red:** go to bed lance

**blue:** omg they out here quackin

**red:** fascinating 

**blue:** oh no

**blue:** this one tryin to get cooch

**red:** LANCE

**red:** omg

**red:** go to bed

**blue:** mwah! 

**red:** <3

 

**green >orange (12:16 am)**

 

**green:** was that you who screamed 

**orange:** a spider

**green:** omg matt

**orange:** it’s zooming pls

**green:** be there in a sec

**orange:** puddgegggeggg

**green:** matt I swear

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I INIW ITS BEEN A WHILE BUT SOMETHING HAPPENED AND IM ACTUALLY GOING TO THE DOCTOR THIS MORNING IN LIKE AN HOUR BUT IM NIT DYING SO ITS OKAY 😊
> 
> THANK YOU FOR EBIING PATIENT LITTLE BEANS  
> ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

**Author's Note:**

> ill probably update whenever i have actual free time and i cant guarantee theyll be long chapters or in a decent amount of time but i will try. this is mostly for the fun of it so yeah  
> enjoy!


End file.
